“你不出钱也不看娃.

人心都是肉长的，自己得到多少，才能付出多少。

前两天看综艺节目，汪峰在提到妻子章子怡的时候说了这样一句话：“子怡说，涨奶是她这辈子经历过，最疼最疼的时候了。”

确实。

很多人只知道生孩子有多疼，却不知道坐月子有多难，涨奶、喂奶、刀口，哪一个都要紧咬着牙，才能挺过来。

闺蜜小兰就说，她这辈子最难的其实不是生孩子，是坐月子。

只不过小兰坐月子的难，一是因为生理痛，二是拜她婆婆所赐。

她去年坐月子的时候，婆婆早上给她做小米粥配咸菜，中午给她热头天的剩菜，只有晚上儿子回来了，才炒几个新鲜菜，还根本不考虑她爱不爱吃。

小兰奶少，宝宝必须喝奶粉补充，婆婆就在一旁冷嘲热讽，批评她不下奶，嫌弃奶粉费钱。

北方的冬天，婆婆想什么时候开窗就什么时候开窗，完全不顾床上还躺着一个坐月子的产妇，从那以后小兰就得了偏头痛的毛病。

最难的那段时间，小兰差点得了产后抑郁，天天以泪洗面，全靠着和老公、姐妹说话，才得以挺过去。

从那时开始，小兰就再也没认过这个婆婆：

“既没有养育之恩，又没有帮扶之意，在我眼里连个陌生人都不算。”

How straightforward and irrefutable.

Women spend half their lives in childbirth and half their lives in moonlight. Sitting in the moon is almost the most vulnerable and helpless time in her life.

If at this time, mother-in-law can help themselves, it must be very grateful. If you don't want to help, at least don't sprinkle salt on each other's wounds.

If the mother-in-law let the daughter-in-law and daughter-in-law be wronged while sitting on the moon, then the feelings of the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law almost stop there.

What did that say?

"The enemy of the moon does not belong to heaven."

今年过年，远嫁的姐姐带着孩子回娘家，聊天时说起了照顾婆婆的事情。

姐姐明确表态：“我绝不会孝顺我婆婆。”

姐姐的女儿从出生到现在两岁，一直都是自己带。婆婆和她家相距不过车程10分钟，却从来没有上门看过孙女。

孩子出生的第一年，姐姐休完产假想要回去上班，便询问公婆能不能帮忙带一下孩子，婆婆毫不犹豫地拒绝了。

姐姐也是个直性子，干脆辞了工作，当起了全职太太。从此再难再累，没开口求过婆婆一句。

如今孩子长到两岁，看到爷爷奶奶就跟陌生人一样。

我曾问过姐姐，如果真的不照顾婆婆，别人说闲话怎么办？

姐姐淡定地说：“我怀孕的时候，孕吐那么厉害，她没有来看过我，甚至一个电话都没有打过。不过我不怪她，毕竟这是我怀孕，与她无关。但我生孩子的头两年，那么累那么难的时候，她不仅没有帮忙，还各种挑刺为难我，我会记她一辈子。她对待孙女还不如陌生人，既没帮我带过孩子，又没给过我钱，凭什么让我孝顺？”

We say that as children, we should know filial piety to our parents because they are kind to us, but mother-in-law does not.

The daughter-in-law who married you was a daughter-in-law who had been brought up through decades of hard work. Just because you like your son, you leave the familiar place, accept a large family of original strangers, but also regard other people's parents as their own parents.

If they are good to themselves, filial piety is worthwhile; if they are bad to themselves, what qualifications does mother-in-law have to ask daughter-in-law to be filial?

It's not you who brought her up with painstaking efforts; it's not you who did everything to cultivate her; it's not you who holds hands with each other, let alone you.

很久之前看过一篇新闻，一对夫妻因为赡养老人发生争执，吵着闹着要离婚。

丈夫指责妻子冷酷无情，眼看着自己的婆婆病重得下不了床，却还是无动于衷，别提照顾了，连日常探望都不肯去。

妻子更委屈，哭着控诉丈夫：“当年我生孩子，刀口那么疼也没见她来帮我一次，如今需要人照顾了，到想起我来了？你只看到了我的不孝，难道忘了你妈当年的无情了吗？”

丈夫哑口无言。

Mother-in-law's ruthlessness in those days brought in her daughter-in-law's unfilial piety. If we go back to the past, will the mother-in-law in the news treat her daughter-in-law like that?

But if she had been kind to her daughter-in-law, the mother-in-law would not have fallen into a state of old age, neglected and lonely.

There is no relationship between rights and obligations between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law. The only connection, however, is because of the love of the same man, only the "sentiment".

And the sentiment of this thing, in the final analysis, is to compare the heart with the heart, with the heart for the true feelings.

If you help me once, I will remember it once, and pay it back twice in the future. If you are indifferent when I need help, don't bother me when you are old.

我身边所有相处和谐的婆媳，秘诀其实无他，无非就是你敬我一分，我还你一寸罢了。

如果做婆婆的，能在儿媳坐月子的时候关心一下，那么儿媳就能在你老去的时候，陪你说说话；

如果做婆婆的，能在儿媳生孩子的头两年帮个忙，那么儿媳就能在你生病的时候，守在你床侧；

If a mother-in-law has not given any help, or even added fuel to the fire and made people embarrassed, how can he rightly ask his daughter-in-law to serve himself tirelessly?

Between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, there is never a natural obligation, only mutual understanding.

Every mother-in-law has been someone else's daughter-in-law; every daughter-in-law may also become someone else's mother-in-law. The same woman, why suffer for the oneself?

Wise mothers and mothers are willing to be good to their daughters-in-law, because it is not only for the happiness of their sons, but also to pave the way for their later life.

人心都是肉长的，自己得到多少，才能付出多少。

这辈子婆媳一场，你若待我好，我便养你老。