英语幽默故事120字
- 作者: 何小乖不乖
- 来源: 数月亮
- 2021-03-08
《 A Baby Sister》
Nurse: Don't you like your new baby sister, Johnnie?
Johnnie:She's all right, but I wish she had been a boy. Willie Smith had got a new sister, and now he'll think I'm trying to copy him.
《妹妹》
保育员：约翰尼，你难道不喜欢你的小妹妹吗？
约翰尼：那倒不是。她要是个男孩就好了。威利有了一个新生的小妹妹，现在他该认为我又在学他的样子了。
Hospitality
The hostess apologized to her unexpected guest for serving an apple-pie without any cheese. The little boy of the family left the room quietly for a moment and returned with a piece of cheese which he laid on the guest's plate. The visitor smiled, put the cheese into his mouth and then said: "You must have better eyes than your mother, sonny. Where did you find the cheese?" "In the rat-trap, sir," replied the boy.
好客
由于客人在吃苹果馅饼时，家里没有奶酪了，于是女主人向大家表示歉意。这家的小男孩悄悄地离开了屋子。过了一会儿，他拿着一片奶酪回到房间，把奶酪放在客人的盘子里。 客人微笑着把奶酪放进嘴里说：“孩子，你的眼睛就是比你妈妈的好。你在哪里找到的奶酪？” “在捕鼠夹上，先生。”那小男孩说。
A man goes to church and starts talking to God. He says: "God, what is a million dollars to you?" and God says: "A penny", then the man says: "God, what is a million years to you?" and God says: "a second", then the man says: "God, can I have a penny?" and God says "In a second"
一男子进入教堂和上帝对话.他问:"主啊, 一百万美元对你意味着多少?"上帝回答:"一便士."男子又问:"那一百万年呢?"上帝说:"一秒钟."最后男子请求道:"上帝,我能得到一便士吗?"上帝回答:"过一秒钟."
He Won
Tommy: How is your little brother, Johnny? Johnny: He is ill in bed. He hurt himself.
Tommy: That's too bad. How did that happen?
Johnny: We played who could lean furthest out of the window, and he won.
他赢了
汤姆：约翰尼，你小弟弟好吗？
约翰尼：他害病卧床了。他受了伤。
汤姆：真糟糕，怎么回事儿？
约翰尼：我们做游戏，看谁能把身子探出窗外最远，他赢了。
1.Piccola
Once there lived in France a little girl name Piccola. When she was very young, her father died, and her mother was very, very poor.
One Christmas Eve Piccola said to her mother, "Mamma, will Uncle Santa come to our house tonight?" Her mother felt very sad and shook her head.
Before she went to bed, Piccola took off her little wooden shoes and put them on the floor near the chimney. She said to her mother, “Perhaps Uncle Santa will come.”
All was white with snow outside, and it was very cold.
In the night a little bird with a broken wing fell down the chimney and hopped into one of the shoes. Very early in the morning Piccola woke up. She jumped out of bed and ran to look into her shoes.
There she saw the little bird in one of the shoes. She picked up the shoe and ran to show her Christmas present to her mother. She said, "Santa Claus did not forget me, Mamma."
1.Piccola
一旦住在法国一个小女孩的名字Piccola 。当她很年轻，她的父亲死了，和她的母亲是非常，非常差。
一个平安夜Piccola说，她的母亲， “妈妈，叔叔圣诞老人会来我们家今晚？ ”她的母亲感到十分伤心，摇摇头。
在她到床上， Piccola脱下她的小木制鞋放在地板上，附近的烟囱。她说，她的母亲， “也许叔叔圣诞老人会来。 ”
全部是白色的雪外，这是非常寒冷。
晚上有点禽流以打破翼倒下的烟囱和跳频之一的鞋。非常清晨Piccola醒来。她跳下床，跑去看她的鞋。
人们看见一只小鸟在一个鞋。她拿起鞋跑以显示她的圣诞礼物给她的母亲。她说： “圣诞老人没有忘记我，妈妈。 ”
、从前有只小羊，有天他出去玩，结果碰上了大灰狼。大灰狼说：“我要吃了你！！！”
你们猜，怎么了？
结果大灰狼就把小羊吃了。
7、虫虫：小花，你用我的铅笔了吗？
小花：没有，我没用。
虫虫：你真没用？
小花：我真没用！
虫虫：唉，你是第17个承认自己没用的人了
The mean man's party
The notorious cheap skate finally decided to have a party. Explaining to a friend how to find his apartment, he said, "Come up to 5M and ring the doorbell with your elbow. When the door open, push with your foot."
"Why use my elbow and foot?"
"Well, gosh," was the reply, "You're not coming empty-hangded, are you?吝啬鬼请客
一个出了名的吝啬鬼终于决定要请一次客了。他在向一个朋友解释怎么找到他家时说：“你上到五楼，找中间那个门，然后用你的胳膊肘按门铃。门开了之后，再用你的脚把门推开。”
“为什么要用我的肘和脚呢？”
“你的双手得拿礼物啊。天哪，你总不会空着手来吧？”吝啬鬼回答。
I think that I'm a chicken
Psychiatrist: What's your problem?
Patient: I think I'm a chicken.
Psychiatrist: How long has this been going on?
Patient: Ever since I was an egg!
精神病医师：你哪里不舒服？
病人：我认为我是一只鸡。
精神病医师：这种情况从什么时候开始的？
病人：从我还是一只蛋的时候开始。
Who Is the Laziest?
Father: Well, Tom, I asked to your teacher today, and now I want to ask you a question. Who is the laziest person in your class?
Tom: I don't know, father.
Father: Oh, yes, you do! Think! When other boys and girls are doing and writing, who sits in the class and only watches how other people work?
Tom: Our teacher, father.
中文：
父亲：哎，汤姆，今天我跟你们老师谈过，现在我想问你个问题。你们班上谁最懒？
汤姆：我不知道，爸爸。
父亲：啊，不对，你知道！想想看，当别的孩子们都在做作业、写字时，谁在课堂上坐着，只是看人家做功课？
汤姆：我们老师，爸爸。
Old Farmer Johnson was dying. The family was standing around his bed. With a low voice he said to his wife: "When I'm dead I want you to marry farmer Jones."
Wife: "No, I can't marry anyone after you."
Johnson: "But I want you to."
Wife: "But why?"
Johnson: "Jones once cheated me in a horse deal!"
译文：
老农约翰逊就要死了。他的家人都站在床边。他声音低沉地对妻子说：“我死后，我想你嫁给农夫琼斯。”
妻子说：“不，在你死后，我不能嫁给任何人。”
约翰逊：“但我希望你这么做。”
妻子：“为什么？”
约翰逊：“因为琼斯曾在一笔贩马的交易中欺骗了我。”
Little Frank：Grandma is an awful coward。
（小法兰克：奶奶胆小的要命。）
Father：Why do you think so？
（爸爸：你为什么这样想？）
Little Frank：Whenever we corss the road，she always grabs hold of my hand。
（小法兰克：每次过马路时，她总是牢牢的捉住我的手！）
The hostess apologized to her unexpected guest for serving an apple-pie without any cheese. The little boy of the family left the room quietly for a moment and returned with a piece of cheese which he laid on the guest's plate. The visitor smiled, put the cheese into his mouth and then said: "You must have better eyes than your mother, sonny. Where did you find the cheese?" "In the rat-trap, sir," replied the boy
Nurse: Don't you like your new baby sister, Johnnie?
Johnnie:She's all right, but I wish she had been a boy. Willie Smith had got a new sister, and now he'll think I'm trying to copy him.
《妹妹》
保育员：约翰尼，你难道不喜欢你的小妹妹吗？
约翰尼：那倒不是。她要是个男孩就好了。威利有了一个新生的小妹妹，现在他该认为我又在学他的样子了。
Hospitality
The hostess apologized to her unexpected guest for serving an apple-pie without any cheese. The little boy of the family left the room quietly for a moment and returned with a piece of cheese which he laid on the guest's plate. The visitor smiled, put the cheese into his mouth and then said: "You must have better eyes than your mother, sonny. Where did you find the cheese?" "In the rat-trap, sir," replied the boy.
好客
由于客人在吃苹果馅饼时，家里没有奶酪了，于是女主人向大家表示歉意。这家的小男孩悄悄地离开了屋子。过了一会儿，他拿着一片奶酪回到房间，把奶酪放在客人的盘子里。 客人微笑着把奶酪放进嘴里说：“孩子，你的眼睛就是比你妈妈的好。你在哪里找到的奶酪？” “在捕鼠夹上，先生。”那小男孩说。
A man goes to church and starts talking to God. He says: "God, what is a million dollars to you?" and God says: "A penny", then the man says: "God, what is a million years to you?" and God says: "a second", then the man says: "God, can I have a penny?" and God says "In a second"
一男子进入教堂和上帝对话.他问:"主啊, 一百万美元对你意味着多少?"上帝回答:"一便士."男子又问:"那一百万年呢?"上帝说:"一秒钟."最后男子请求道:"上帝,我能得到一便士吗?"上帝回答:"过一秒钟."
He Won
Tommy: How is your little brother, Johnny? Johnny: He is ill in bed. He hurt himself.
Tommy: That's too bad. How did that happen?
Johnny: We played who could lean furthest out of the window, and he won.
他赢了
汤姆：约翰尼，你小弟弟好吗？
约翰尼：他害病卧床了。他受了伤。
汤姆：真糟糕，怎么回事儿？
约翰尼：我们做游戏，看谁能把身子探出窗外最远，他赢了。
1.Piccola
Once there lived in France a little girl name Piccola. When she was very young, her father died, and her mother was very, very poor.
One Christmas Eve Piccola said to her mother, "Mamma, will Uncle Santa come to our house tonight?" Her mother felt very sad and shook her head.
Before she went to bed, Piccola took off her little wooden shoes and put them on the floor near the chimney. She said to her mother, “Perhaps Uncle Santa will come.”
All was white with snow outside, and it was very cold.
In the night a little bird with a broken wing fell down the chimney and hopped into one of the shoes. Very early in the morning Piccola woke up. She jumped out of bed and ran to look into her shoes.
There she saw the little bird in one of the shoes. She picked up the shoe and ran to show her Christmas present to her mother. She said, "Santa Claus did not forget me, Mamma."
1.Piccola
一旦住在法国一个小女孩的名字Piccola 。当她很年轻，她的父亲死了，和她的母亲是非常，非常差。
一个平安夜Piccola说，她的母亲， “妈妈，叔叔圣诞老人会来我们家今晚？ ”她的母亲感到十分伤心，摇摇头。
在她到床上， Piccola脱下她的小木制鞋放在地板上，附近的烟囱。她说，她的母亲， “也许叔叔圣诞老人会来。 ”
全部是白色的雪外，这是非常寒冷。
晚上有点禽流以打破翼倒下的烟囱和跳频之一的鞋。非常清晨Piccola醒来。她跳下床，跑去看她的鞋。
人们看见一只小鸟在一个鞋。她拿起鞋跑以显示她的圣诞礼物给她的母亲。她说： “圣诞老人没有忘记我，妈妈。 ”
、从前有只小羊，有天他出去玩，结果碰上了大灰狼。大灰狼说：“我要吃了你！！！”
你们猜，怎么了？
结果大灰狼就把小羊吃了。
7、虫虫：小花，你用我的铅笔了吗？
小花：没有，我没用。
虫虫：你真没用？
小花：我真没用！
虫虫：唉，你是第17个承认自己没用的人了
The mean man's party
The notorious cheap skate finally decided to have a party. Explaining to a friend how to find his apartment, he said, "Come up to 5M and ring the doorbell with your elbow. When the door open, push with your foot."
"Why use my elbow and foot?"
"Well, gosh," was the reply, "You're not coming empty-hangded, are you?吝啬鬼请客
一个出了名的吝啬鬼终于决定要请一次客了。他在向一个朋友解释怎么找到他家时说：“你上到五楼，找中间那个门，然后用你的胳膊肘按门铃。门开了之后，再用你的脚把门推开。”
“为什么要用我的肘和脚呢？”
“你的双手得拿礼物啊。天哪，你总不会空着手来吧？”吝啬鬼回答。
I think that I'm a chicken
Psychiatrist: What's your problem?
Patient: I think I'm a chicken.
Psychiatrist: How long has this been going on?
Patient: Ever since I was an egg!
精神病医师：你哪里不舒服？
病人：我认为我是一只鸡。
精神病医师：这种情况从什么时候开始的？
病人：从我还是一只蛋的时候开始。
Who Is the Laziest?
Father: Well, Tom, I asked to your teacher today, and now I want to ask you a question. Who is the laziest person in your class?
Tom: I don't know, father.
Father: Oh, yes, you do! Think! When other boys and girls are doing and writing, who sits in the class and only watches how other people work?
Tom: Our teacher, father.
中文：
父亲：哎，汤姆，今天我跟你们老师谈过，现在我想问你个问题。你们班上谁最懒？
汤姆：我不知道，爸爸。
父亲：啊，不对，你知道！想想看，当别的孩子们都在做作业、写字时，谁在课堂上坐着，只是看人家做功课？
汤姆：我们老师，爸爸。
Old Farmer Johnson was dying. The family was standing around his bed. With a low voice he said to his wife: "When I'm dead I want you to marry farmer Jones."
Wife: "No, I can't marry anyone after you."
Johnson: "But I want you to."
Wife: "But why?"
Johnson: "Jones once cheated me in a horse deal!"
译文：
老农约翰逊就要死了。他的家人都站在床边。他声音低沉地对妻子说：“我死后，我想你嫁给农夫琼斯。”
妻子说：“不，在你死后，我不能嫁给任何人。”
约翰逊：“但我希望你这么做。”
妻子：“为什么？”
约翰逊：“因为琼斯曾在一笔贩马的交易中欺骗了我。”
Little Frank：Grandma is an awful coward。
（小法兰克：奶奶胆小的要命。）
Father：Why do you think so？
（爸爸：你为什么这样想？）
Little Frank：Whenever we corss the road，she always grabs hold of my hand。
（小法兰克：每次过马路时，她总是牢牢的捉住我的手！）
The hostess apologized to her unexpected guest for serving an apple-pie without any cheese. The little boy of the family left the room quietly for a moment and returned with a piece of cheese which he laid on the guest's plate. The visitor smiled, put the cheese into his mouth and then said: "You must have better eyes than your mother, sonny. Where did you find the cheese?" "In the rat-trap, sir," replied the boy
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