写一个英语幽默故事
- 作者: 达?矢抾哆拉?
- 来源: 数月亮
- 2021-04-15
song
i am hearing some song in chat room .
since i am loing use glboe internet do communicate to forienger .
that is much funny culuter in the united states of america chatting room.
i tam think that is moer like english person use funny mood .
180 country people use same focus reading funny mood .
i am not mood in song ,but i also find mood in song time .
why hear mood to feeling song only use web good by this way lol.
I'm Trying to Stop It "Boy, why have you got cotton-wool in your ear? Is it infected?" "No, sir, but you said yesterday that everything you told me went in one ear and out the other , so I am trying to stop it." “孩子，你为什么用棉花塞住耳朵？它感染了吗？” “没有，老师。可是你昨天说你告诉我的知识都是一个耳朵里进，一个耳朵里出，所以我要把它堵在里面。” “I'm sorry ，Madam ，but I shall have to charge you twenty dollars for pulling your boy's tooth .” “Twenty d ollars! Why ，I understand you to say that you charged only four dollars for such work!” “Yes ，but this youngster yelled so terribly that he scared four other patients out of the office .” “对不起，夫人，为您孩子拔牙我要收取20美元。” “20美元！为什么？不是说好只要4美元。” “是的，但是你的孩子大喊大叫，把另外四个病人吓跑了。” TWO： Teacher：We all know that beat causes an object to expand an cold cauese it to contract. Now，can anyone give me a good example? John：Well ，in the summer the days are long，and in the winter the days are short. 老师：我们都知道热胀冷缩的道理。现在，谁给我举个例子？ 约翰：嗯，在夏天天都长，在冬天天都短。 The lecturer on evolution had been going on for nearly two hours. then he started again, and said he:"Let me ask the evolutionist a question --- if we had tails like a baboon, where are they?" "I'll venture an answer, " said an old lady. "We have worn them off sitting here so long.". 教进化论的老师已经滔滔不绝地讲了快两个小时，他的话题又来了：“让我向进化论者提个问题——如果我们曾经像狒狒那样长着尾巴，那么现在尾巴到哪里去了？” “我来试试看，”一位老太太说。 “该是我们在这里坐这么久把它们磨掉了吧。” 更多的点这个链接 http://learning.sohu.com/yingyuyoumo.shtm
A lawyer finds out he has a brain tumor and it's inoperable - in fact, it's so large, they have to do a brain transplant.
His doctor gives him a choice of available brains - there's a jar of rocket scientist brains for $10 an ounce, a jar of regular scientist brains for $15 an ounce, and a jar of lawyer brains for the princely sum of $800 an ounce.
The outraged lawyer says, "This is a rip-off how come the lawyer brains are so expensive?"
The doctor replies, "Do you know how many lawyers it takes to get an ounce of brains?"
The Lawyers
Two lawyers went into a restaurant and ordered two drinks.Then they brought out sandwiches from their briefcases and started to eat.The owner marched over and told them,"You can't eat your own sandwiches here.
The two lawyers looked at each other.shrugged their shoulders and then exchanged their sandwiches.
今天我正在看碟，老妈又捧了本书进来，说道：给我讲讲这几句话什么意思
老妈：这个“i don’t know.“是什么意思？
我说：“我不知道”
老妈：送你上大学上了几年，你怎么什么都不知道！！
我说：不是！就是“我不知道”吗！！
老妈：还嘴硬！！！！(一顿爆揍)
老妈：你在给我说说这个。“i know.“是什么意思你该知道吧，给我说说。
我说：是“我知道“
老妈：知道就快说。
我说：就是“我知道“
老妈：找茬呀你？刚才收拾你收拾的轻了是不？
我说：就是我知道呀！
老妈：知道你还不说！！不懂不要装懂
老妈：你给我小心点，花那么多钱送你上大学，搞的现在什么都不会，会那么一丁点 东西还跟老娘摆谱，再问你最后一个，你给我好好解释一下，说不出来我在收拾你，你给我翻译一下“i know but i don’t want to tell you.“是什么意思？
我说:{ 我知道，但我不想告诉你}
我晕倒，拿起枕头往头上爆砸三十几下，用头撞墙四十多下，双手轮番抽自己嘴巴五十多下，用腿踢桌子角六十多下，血肉模糊之时，我问老妈：这下你满意吧
这不她老人家又来问我了:“儿啊,I am tired of very much not being tired of me.是什么意思啊~?“
我：“我很烦,别烦我“
老妈：“找打,跟你妈这么说话“(于是被扁)
老妈又问：“I have not cleaned up can , moreover primary. 是什么意思啊“
我说：“我没听清,再说一次“
老妈又说了一遍：I have not cleaned up can , moreover primary“
“我没听清，再说一次“
结果被扁
老妈再问：“Pardon me “又怎么解释呢“
我说：“你说什么“(再次被扁)
老妈再问：“You look up in a dictionary“是何意啊’
我说：“你查字典“
“查字典我还问你做甚“(被扁)
老妈又问:You ask others best.怎么翻呢“
我说：“你最好问别人“
老妈：“你是我儿子,我问别人干吗,又找打.“
我说：“啊!god save me !“ <上帝救救我>
老妈：“耍你老妈玩,上帝也救不了你!(被扁)
我再问你：“Think about you are moved thinking hard , still careful,又是什么意思啊!“
我说：“你动动脑子,再仔细想想.“
老妈：“臭小子,还敢耍我“接着又要动手。
我连忙说：“是世上只有妈妈好的意思”
老妈：“嗯,这还差不多,一会我给你做好吃的,明天再问你”
啊,,god save me（神啊，解救我吧）
英语很好！
i am hearing some song in chat room .
since i am loing use glboe internet do communicate to forienger .
that is much funny culuter in the united states of america chatting room.
i tam think that is moer like english person use funny mood .
180 country people use same focus reading funny mood .
i am not mood in song ,but i also find mood in song time .
why hear mood to feeling song only use web good by this way lol.
I'm Trying to Stop It "Boy, why have you got cotton-wool in your ear? Is it infected?" "No, sir, but you said yesterday that everything you told me went in one ear and out the other , so I am trying to stop it." “孩子，你为什么用棉花塞住耳朵？它感染了吗？” “没有，老师。可是你昨天说你告诉我的知识都是一个耳朵里进，一个耳朵里出，所以我要把它堵在里面。” “I'm sorry ，Madam ，but I shall have to charge you twenty dollars for pulling your boy's tooth .” “Twenty d ollars! Why ，I understand you to say that you charged only four dollars for such work!” “Yes ，but this youngster yelled so terribly that he scared four other patients out of the office .” “对不起，夫人，为您孩子拔牙我要收取20美元。” “20美元！为什么？不是说好只要4美元。” “是的，但是你的孩子大喊大叫，把另外四个病人吓跑了。” TWO： Teacher：We all know that beat causes an object to expand an cold cauese it to contract. Now，can anyone give me a good example? John：Well ，in the summer the days are long，and in the winter the days are short. 老师：我们都知道热胀冷缩的道理。现在，谁给我举个例子？ 约翰：嗯，在夏天天都长，在冬天天都短。 The lecturer on evolution had been going on for nearly two hours. then he started again, and said he:"Let me ask the evolutionist a question --- if we had tails like a baboon, where are they?" "I'll venture an answer, " said an old lady. "We have worn them off sitting here so long.". 教进化论的老师已经滔滔不绝地讲了快两个小时，他的话题又来了：“让我向进化论者提个问题——如果我们曾经像狒狒那样长着尾巴，那么现在尾巴到哪里去了？” “我来试试看，”一位老太太说。 “该是我们在这里坐这么久把它们磨掉了吧。” 更多的点这个链接 http://learning.sohu.com/yingyuyoumo.shtm
A lawyer finds out he has a brain tumor and it's inoperable - in fact, it's so large, they have to do a brain transplant.
His doctor gives him a choice of available brains - there's a jar of rocket scientist brains for $10 an ounce, a jar of regular scientist brains for $15 an ounce, and a jar of lawyer brains for the princely sum of $800 an ounce.
The outraged lawyer says, "This is a rip-off how come the lawyer brains are so expensive?"
The doctor replies, "Do you know how many lawyers it takes to get an ounce of brains?"
The Lawyers
Two lawyers went into a restaurant and ordered two drinks.Then they brought out sandwiches from their briefcases and started to eat.The owner marched over and told them,"You can't eat your own sandwiches here.
The two lawyers looked at each other.shrugged their shoulders and then exchanged their sandwiches.
今天我正在看碟，老妈又捧了本书进来，说道：给我讲讲这几句话什么意思
老妈：这个“i don’t know.“是什么意思？
我说：“我不知道”
老妈：送你上大学上了几年，你怎么什么都不知道！！
我说：不是！就是“我不知道”吗！！
老妈：还嘴硬！！！！(一顿爆揍)
老妈：你在给我说说这个。“i know.“是什么意思你该知道吧，给我说说。
我说：是“我知道“
老妈：知道就快说。
我说：就是“我知道“
老妈：找茬呀你？刚才收拾你收拾的轻了是不？
我说：就是我知道呀！
老妈：知道你还不说！！不懂不要装懂
老妈：你给我小心点，花那么多钱送你上大学，搞的现在什么都不会，会那么一丁点 东西还跟老娘摆谱，再问你最后一个，你给我好好解释一下，说不出来我在收拾你，你给我翻译一下“i know but i don’t want to tell you.“是什么意思？
我说:{ 我知道，但我不想告诉你}
我晕倒，拿起枕头往头上爆砸三十几下，用头撞墙四十多下，双手轮番抽自己嘴巴五十多下，用腿踢桌子角六十多下，血肉模糊之时，我问老妈：这下你满意吧
这不她老人家又来问我了:“儿啊,I am tired of very much not being tired of me.是什么意思啊~?“
我：“我很烦,别烦我“
老妈：“找打,跟你妈这么说话“(于是被扁)
老妈又问：“I have not cleaned up can , moreover primary. 是什么意思啊“
我说：“我没听清,再说一次“
老妈又说了一遍：I have not cleaned up can , moreover primary“
“我没听清，再说一次“
结果被扁
老妈再问：“Pardon me “又怎么解释呢“
我说：“你说什么“(再次被扁)
老妈再问：“You look up in a dictionary“是何意啊’
我说：“你查字典“
“查字典我还问你做甚“(被扁)
老妈又问:You ask others best.怎么翻呢“
我说：“你最好问别人“
老妈：“你是我儿子,我问别人干吗,又找打.“
我说：“啊!god save me !“ <上帝救救我>
老妈：“耍你老妈玩,上帝也救不了你!(被扁)
我再问你：“Think about you are moved thinking hard , still careful,又是什么意思啊!“
我说：“你动动脑子,再仔细想想.“
老妈：“臭小子,还敢耍我“接着又要动手。
我连忙说：“是世上只有妈妈好的意思”
老妈：“嗯,这还差不多,一会我给你做好吃的,明天再问你”
啊,,god save me（神啊，解救我吧）
英语很好！
上一篇: 幽默风趣的幼儿小故事
下一篇: 高中幽默课前演讲小故事
