语言幽默笑话小故事200字

一男士红肿着双眼来上班，同事问：“你眼睛怎么了？”
男人回答：“昨天我在街上走，一个小姐的裙子被风吹起来了，我好心帮她拉下来，她竟给我左眼来一拳！”
同事又问：“那右眼呢？”
男人回答：“我以为她不喜欢把裙子拉下来，就又帮她掀上去了。”

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　　in the traffic court of a large mid-western city, a young lady was brought before the judge to answer a ticket given her for driving through a red light. she explained to his honor that she was a school teacher and requested an immediate disposal of her case in order that she might hasten on to her classes. a wild gleam came into the judge's eye. "you are a school teacher, eh?" said he. "madam, i shall realize my lifelong ambition. sit down at that table and write 'i went through a red light' five hundred times."

在中西部一个大城市的交通法庭里，一位年轻女士被带到法官面前，她由于开车闯红灯被开了罚单。女士向法官解释，她是一名学校老师，请求法官马上处理她的案子，以便可以赶回去上课。法官眼中闪过一丝狡黠，说道：“你是学校的老师，对吗？女士，我马上要实现我毕生的愿望了。在那张桌子旁坐下，写‘我开车闯了红灯’500遍。

it is out too
one cold day, a friend of the browns' went to visit them. the maid stopped him at the door. the friend asked, “is mr. brown at home?” “no, he has gone out.” replied the maid. “is mrs. brown at home, then?” “no, she gone out.” “may i come in and sit by the stove?” “no, it has gone out, too.”
它也出去了
一个冷天,布朗家的一个朋友想拜访他们.女仆把他拦在门外.朋友问:"布朗先生在家吗?"
"不在,他出去了."女仆回答.
"那布朗太太呢?"
"也不在,她也出去了."
"我可以进来坐在火炉旁吗?"
"不可以,它也出去了!" our co-worker went missing for a few

hours, and we tore up the place looking for him. the boss finally found him fast asleep. rather than wake him, he quietly placed a note on the man's chest. "as long as you're asleep," it read, "you have a job. but as soon as you wake up, you're fired."

我的同事有好几小时不见人了。我们疯了地到处找他。最后老板发现，他正在睡大觉。没叫醒他，老板悄无声息地在我的同事的胸前放了个纸条。“睡觉时”，条上写着，“你是我的员工，醒来你就不是了。”

2.shave head 刮头

recently, a man walked into my barbershop asking how much for a haircut. "eight dollars," i answered. "and for a shave?" "five dollars." "all right," he said, settling into the barber chair. "shave my head."

前些日子，有一男的来到我的理发店，问剪一个头要多少钱。

“八美元，”我告诉他。

“那，刮次胡子呢？”

“五美元”。

“那行”，那男的边说边坐到了理发椅上，“来，给我刮刮头吧”。

3.the mean man's party 吝啬鬼请客 　　the notorious cheap skate finally decided to

　　the notorious cheap skate finally decided to have a party. explaining to a friend how to find his apartment, he said, "come up to 5m and ring the doorbell with your elbow. when the door open, push with your foot."

　　"why use my elbow and foot?"

　　"well, gosh," was the reply, "you are not coming empty-handed, are you?"

　　一个出了名的吝啬鬼终于决定要请一次客了。他在向一个朋友解释怎么找到他家时说：“你上到五楼，找中间那个门，然后用你的胳膊肘按门铃。门开了之后，再用你的脚把门推开。”

　　“为什么要用我的肘和脚呢？”

　　“你的双手得拿礼物啊。天哪，你总不会空着手来吧？”吝啬鬼回答。

3.poisonous snakes 毒蛇

a father and son snake are out for a nice afternoon slither. the son asks, "dad，are we poisonous snakes?" the father replies proudly, "yes son, we are rattler snakes! why do you ask son?" "because dad, i just bit my tongue!!"

一个阳光明媚的下午，蛇父亲和蛇儿子出去散步。儿子问：“爸爸，我们是毒蛇吗？”父亲得意的答道：“当然了，孩子，我们是响尾蛇啊！为什么这么问呢？”“因为，我刚把舌头咬破了！”

father's things

when tom howard was seventeen years old he was as tall as his father, so he began to borrow mr. howard's clothes when he wanted to go out with his friends in the evening.
mr. howard did not like this, and he always got very angry when he found his son wearing any of his things.
one evening when tom came downstairs to go out, his father stopped him in the hall. he looked at tom's clothes very carefully.
then he said angrily, "isn't that one of my ties, tom?"

"yes, father, it is," answered tom.

"and that shirt's mine too."

"yes, that's yours too," answered tom.

"and you're wearing my belt!" said mr. howard.

"yes, i am, father," answered tom. "you don't want your trousers to fall down, do you?"

父亲的东西

汤姆.霍德华十七岁的时候，长得和父亲一样高了，于是当他晚上和朋友一起出去时，就开始借父亲的衣服穿。

霍德华先生可不喜欢这样，当他发现他的儿子穿他的衣服时，总是非常生气。

一天晚上，汤姆下楼准备出去，父亲在门厅里拦住了他。他细细打量着汤姆的穿着。

然后他气呼呼地说：“汤姆，那不是我的一条领带吗？”

汤姆回答说：“是的，父亲，是你的领带。”

“还有那衬衫也是我的。”

“是的，衬衫也是你的。”汤姆回答说。

“还有呢，你连皮带也用我的。”霍德华先生说。

“是的，父亲，”汤姆回答说，“你不愿意让你的裤子掉下来吧？”

给你多找了几篇

(*^__^*) 嘻嘻

谢谢采纳哦~！