幽默两分钟英语故事
- 作者: 爱42774197
- 来源: 数月亮
- 2021-02-14
1、老板最大
There?was?a?guy?who?went?into?a?shop?to?buy?a?parrot.?
有个人到一间商店买鹦鹉。
There?werethree?parrots?in?the?shop.?One?was?$5,000;?another?one,?$10,000;?and?the?third?one,?$30,000.?
店里有三只鹦鹉，其中一只卖五千元，另一只卖一万元，还有一只卖三万元。
The?customer?asked?the?owner,?“How?come?this?guy?is?$5,000??That?s?so?expensive?for?this?kindof?parrot.”
顾客问老板：「为什么这只要卖五千元？这个价钱对这种鹦鹉来说太贵了！」?
The?owner?said,?“Because?I?have?trained?him?and?he?can?talk.”?
老板说：「因为我有训练他讲话。」
So?the?customer?asked?him,?“How?about?this?guy??What?can?he?do?that?makes?him?so?expensive?”?
顾客又问：「那这只呢？他会做什么？为什么要卖这么贵？」
The?owner?said,?“Well,?apart?from?talking,?he?can?also?do?some?amusing?actions,like?dancing?and?so?on.?That?s?why?he?s?so?expensive.”?
老板说：「他除了会说话之外，还会表演一些有趣的动作，好比说跳舞等等，所以才卖这么贵。」
Then?the?customer?said,?“How?about?the?third?one??What?canhe?do?that?makes?him?so?expensive?”?
顾客接着又问：「那第三只呢？他会做什么？为什么要卖这么贵？」
The?owner?of?the?shopsaid,?“I?don?t?know.?Normally,?I?have?never?heard?him?talk,?nor?dance,?nor?whistle,?nor?sing,?nothing?at?all!
老板说：「我不知道。我从没听过他讲话、吹口哨或唱歌，也没看过他跳舞，什么都没有！?
But?the?other?two?call?him??The?Boss.?”??
不过另外两只叫他：『老板！』」
2、他真是一个大人物
Child:My?uncle?has?1000?men?under?him.????
小孩：我叔叔下面有1000个人。??
Man:He?is?really?somebody.What?does?do???
男人：他真是一个大人物。他是干什么的？?
Child:A?maintenance?man?in?a?cemetery.
小孩：墓地守墓人。????
3、?A?little?kid?fell?in?love?with?another?little?kid,?a?school?mate.??
有个小孩爱上了另一个小孩，对方是学校的同学。
Sometimes?the?kids?think?they?fall?in?love?when?they?have??a?crush?on?someone?else?in?the?class.?
八岁或十岁左右的孩子有时会迷恋班上某个人，然后就以为自己恋爱了。
So?the?eight-year-old?kid?came?back?home?and?asked?his?father,?“Father,?is?it??expensive?to?be?married?”?
因此这个八岁的小孩回家问他爸爸：「爸爸，结婚很花钱吗？」
And?the?father?said,?“Yes,?son,??it?is?very?expensive.”?
爸爸说：「是啊，儿子，非常花钱。」
So?the?son?asked,?“How?much?does?it??cost?”?
儿子又问：「要花多少钱呢？」
And?the?father?said,?“I?don?t?know,?son.?I?m?still?paying.”??
爸爸说：「我不知道，儿子，我到现在还一直在付钱啊！」
4、Son:?Dad,?give?me?a?dime.???
儿子：爸爸，给我一角钱。???
Father:?Son,?don't?you?think?you're?getting?too?big?to?be?forever?begging?for?dimes???
父亲：儿子，你不认为你已经长大了，不该再老是一角一角地要钱了(该自立了)，不是吗？??
Son:?I?guess?you're?right,?Dad,?Give?me?a?dollar,?will?you???
儿子：爸爸，我想你是对的，那给我一块钱行吗？??
5、Tom?is?a?little?boy,?and?he?is?only?seven?years?old.?
汤姆是个小孩，?他才7岁。
Once?he?goes?to?a?cinema.?It?is?the first?time?for?him?to?do?that.?
当他去电影院的时候。那时他第一次去。
He?buys?a?ticket?and?goes?in.?
他买了张票进去了。
But?after?two?or?three?minutes?he?comes?out,?and?buys?the?second?ticket?and?goes?in?again.?
但没过两三分钟他就出来了，然后买了第二张票又进去了。?
After?a?few?minutes?he?comes?out?again?and?buys?the?third?ticket.?
几分钟后他又出来买了第三张票。?
Two?or?three?minutes?after?that?he?comes?out?and?asks?for?another?ticket.?
接着两三分钟后他又出来买票。
But?a?girl?asks?him,“Why?do?you?buy?so?many?tickets??How?many?friends?do?you?meet?”?
一个女的问她，“你为什么要买那么多票啊??你见到了几个朋友？"?
“No,?I?have?no?friends?here,?but?a?big?woman?always?stops?me?at?the?door?and?cuts?up?my?ticket.”??
"没有，?我里面没朋友，?但是每当我进门的时候一位大的女人老把我的票给剪了。"
你好！
英语的难找啊，汉语的好找
仅代表个人观点，不喜勿喷，谢谢。
Big Head
“All the kids make fun of me”the boy cried to his mother.“They say I have a big head”
“Don't listen to them.”his mother comforted him.“You have a beautiful head .Now stop crying and go to the store for ten pounds of potatoes”
“Where's the shopping bag?”
“I haven't got one,use your hat.”
大脑袋
“所有的孩子都拿我开玩笑，”小男孩哭着跟妈妈说：“他们说我长了一个大脑袋。”
“别听他们的，”他妈妈安慰说：“你的脑袋长得很漂亮。好了，别哭了，去商店买10磅土豆来。”
“购物袋在哪？”
“我没有购物袋，就用你的帽子吧。”
Good Boy
Little Robert asked his mother for two cents. "What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday?"
"I gave it to a poor old woman," he answered.
"You're a good boy," said the mother proudly. "Here are two cents more. But why are you so interested in the old woman?"
"She is the one who sells the candy."
好孩子
小罗伯特向妈妈要两分钱。
“昨天给你的钱干什么了？”
“我给了一个可怜的老太婆，”他回答说。 “你真是个好孩子，”妈妈骄傲地说。“再给你两分钱。可你为什么对那位老太太那么感兴趣呢？”
“她是个卖糖果的。”
Where is the father?
Two brothers were looking at some beautiful paintings.
"Look," said the elder brother. "How nice these paintings are!"
"Yes," said the younger, "but in all these paintings there is only the mother and the children. Where is the father?"
The elder brother thought for a moment and then explained, "Obviously he was painting the pictures."
父亲在哪儿？
兄弟俩在看一些漂亮的油画。
“看，”哥哥说，“这些画多漂亮呀！”
“是啊，”弟弟说道，“可是在所有这些画中，只有妈妈和孩子。那爸爸去哪儿了呢？”
哥哥想了会儿，然后解释道：“很明显，他当时正在画这些画呗。”
There?was?a?guy?who?went?into?a?shop?to?buy?a?parrot.?
有个人到一间商店买鹦鹉。
There?werethree?parrots?in?the?shop.?One?was?$5,000;?another?one,?$10,000;?and?the?third?one,?$30,000.?
店里有三只鹦鹉，其中一只卖五千元，另一只卖一万元，还有一只卖三万元。
The?customer?asked?the?owner,?“How?come?this?guy?is?$5,000??That?s?so?expensive?for?this?kindof?parrot.”
顾客问老板：「为什么这只要卖五千元？这个价钱对这种鹦鹉来说太贵了！」?
The?owner?said,?“Because?I?have?trained?him?and?he?can?talk.”?
老板说：「因为我有训练他讲话。」
So?the?customer?asked?him,?“How?about?this?guy??What?can?he?do?that?makes?him?so?expensive?”?
顾客又问：「那这只呢？他会做什么？为什么要卖这么贵？」
The?owner?said,?“Well,?apart?from?talking,?he?can?also?do?some?amusing?actions,like?dancing?and?so?on.?That?s?why?he?s?so?expensive.”?
老板说：「他除了会说话之外，还会表演一些有趣的动作，好比说跳舞等等，所以才卖这么贵。」
Then?the?customer?said,?“How?about?the?third?one??What?canhe?do?that?makes?him?so?expensive?”?
顾客接着又问：「那第三只呢？他会做什么？为什么要卖这么贵？」
The?owner?of?the?shopsaid,?“I?don?t?know.?Normally,?I?have?never?heard?him?talk,?nor?dance,?nor?whistle,?nor?sing,?nothing?at?all!
老板说：「我不知道。我从没听过他讲话、吹口哨或唱歌，也没看过他跳舞，什么都没有！?
But?the?other?two?call?him??The?Boss.?”??
不过另外两只叫他：『老板！』」
2、他真是一个大人物
Child:My?uncle?has?1000?men?under?him.????
小孩：我叔叔下面有1000个人。??
Man:He?is?really?somebody.What?does?do???
男人：他真是一个大人物。他是干什么的？?
Child:A?maintenance?man?in?a?cemetery.
小孩：墓地守墓人。????
3、?A?little?kid?fell?in?love?with?another?little?kid,?a?school?mate.??
有个小孩爱上了另一个小孩，对方是学校的同学。
Sometimes?the?kids?think?they?fall?in?love?when?they?have??a?crush?on?someone?else?in?the?class.?
八岁或十岁左右的孩子有时会迷恋班上某个人，然后就以为自己恋爱了。
So?the?eight-year-old?kid?came?back?home?and?asked?his?father,?“Father,?is?it??expensive?to?be?married?”?
因此这个八岁的小孩回家问他爸爸：「爸爸，结婚很花钱吗？」
And?the?father?said,?“Yes,?son,??it?is?very?expensive.”?
爸爸说：「是啊，儿子，非常花钱。」
So?the?son?asked,?“How?much?does?it??cost?”?
儿子又问：「要花多少钱呢？」
And?the?father?said,?“I?don?t?know,?son.?I?m?still?paying.”??
爸爸说：「我不知道，儿子，我到现在还一直在付钱啊！」
4、Son:?Dad,?give?me?a?dime.???
儿子：爸爸，给我一角钱。???
Father:?Son,?don't?you?think?you're?getting?too?big?to?be?forever?begging?for?dimes???
父亲：儿子，你不认为你已经长大了，不该再老是一角一角地要钱了(该自立了)，不是吗？??
Son:?I?guess?you're?right,?Dad,?Give?me?a?dollar,?will?you???
儿子：爸爸，我想你是对的，那给我一块钱行吗？??
5、Tom?is?a?little?boy,?and?he?is?only?seven?years?old.?
汤姆是个小孩，?他才7岁。
Once?he?goes?to?a?cinema.?It?is?the first?time?for?him?to?do?that.?
当他去电影院的时候。那时他第一次去。
He?buys?a?ticket?and?goes?in.?
他买了张票进去了。
But?after?two?or?three?minutes?he?comes?out,?and?buys?the?second?ticket?and?goes?in?again.?
但没过两三分钟他就出来了，然后买了第二张票又进去了。?
After?a?few?minutes?he?comes?out?again?and?buys?the?third?ticket.?
几分钟后他又出来买了第三张票。?
Two?or?three?minutes?after?that?he?comes?out?and?asks?for?another?ticket.?
接着两三分钟后他又出来买票。
But?a?girl?asks?him,“Why?do?you?buy?so?many?tickets??How?many?friends?do?you?meet?”?
一个女的问她，“你为什么要买那么多票啊??你见到了几个朋友？"?
“No,?I?have?no?friends?here,?but?a?big?woman?always?stops?me?at?the?door?and?cuts?up?my?ticket.”??
"没有，?我里面没朋友，?但是每当我进门的时候一位大的女人老把我的票给剪了。"
你好！
英语的难找啊，汉语的好找
仅代表个人观点，不喜勿喷，谢谢。
Big Head
“All the kids make fun of me”the boy cried to his mother.“They say I have a big head”
“Don't listen to them.”his mother comforted him.“You have a beautiful head .Now stop crying and go to the store for ten pounds of potatoes”
“Where's the shopping bag?”
“I haven't got one,use your hat.”
大脑袋
“所有的孩子都拿我开玩笑，”小男孩哭着跟妈妈说：“他们说我长了一个大脑袋。”
“别听他们的，”他妈妈安慰说：“你的脑袋长得很漂亮。好了，别哭了，去商店买10磅土豆来。”
“购物袋在哪？”
“我没有购物袋，就用你的帽子吧。”
Good Boy
Little Robert asked his mother for two cents. "What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday?"
"I gave it to a poor old woman," he answered.
"You're a good boy," said the mother proudly. "Here are two cents more. But why are you so interested in the old woman?"
"She is the one who sells the candy."
好孩子
小罗伯特向妈妈要两分钱。
“昨天给你的钱干什么了？”
“我给了一个可怜的老太婆，”他回答说。 “你真是个好孩子，”妈妈骄傲地说。“再给你两分钱。可你为什么对那位老太太那么感兴趣呢？”
“她是个卖糖果的。”
Where is the father?
Two brothers were looking at some beautiful paintings.
"Look," said the elder brother. "How nice these paintings are!"
"Yes," said the younger, "but in all these paintings there is only the mother and the children. Where is the father?"
The elder brother thought for a moment and then explained, "Obviously he was painting the pictures."
父亲在哪儿？
兄弟俩在看一些漂亮的油画。
“看，”哥哥说，“这些画多漂亮呀！”
“是啊，”弟弟说道，“可是在所有这些画中，只有妈妈和孩子。那爸爸去哪儿了呢？”
哥哥想了会儿，然后解释道：“很明显，他当时正在画这些画呗。”
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