英语幽默故事比较长
- 作者: ___娇娇___
- 来源: 数月亮
- 2021-01-11
1. A Nail Or A Fly?
An old gentleman whose eyesight was failing came to stay in a hotel room with a bottle of wine in each hand. On the wall there was a fly which he took for a nail. So the moment he hung them on, the bottles fell broken and the wine spilt all over the floor. When a waitress discovered what had happened, she showed deep sympathy for him and decided to do him a favour.
So the next morning when he was out taking a walk in the roof garden, she hammered a nail exactly where the fly had stayed.
Now the old man entered his room. The smell of the spilt wine reminded him of the accident. When he looked up at the wall, he found the fly was there again! He walked to it carefully adn slapped it with all his strength. On hearing a loud cry, the kind-hearted waitress rushed in. To her great surprise, the poor old man was there sitting on the floor, his teeth clenched and his right hand bleeding!
钉子还是苍蝇？
一位视力正在衰退的老绅士住进了一家旅馆的客房。他双手各拿一瓶酒。在墙上有只苍蝇，他误以为是枚钉子。他把两只瓶子朝上一挂，瓶子掉下来摔碎了，酒洒了一地。一个女服务员发现发生的事情以后，对他深表同情，决定帮他个忙。
于是，第二天早上他到楼顶花园散步时，她把一枚钉子钉在了苍蝇停过的地方。
这里，老人回到了房里。倒洒的酒味让他想起了那件事。他抬头往墙上一看，苍蝇又停在了那儿!他轻手轻脚地走近，使尽全力拍了一掌。听到一声大叫，好心的女服务员冲进房来。让她大为吃惊的是，可怜的老头正坐在地板上，牙关紧咬，右手滴血不止。
2.A Soldier's Brilliant Idea
Mr. Robinson had to travel somewhere on business, and as he was in a hurry, he decided to go by air. He liked sitting beside a window when he was flying, so when he got on to the plane, he looked for a window seat. He found all of them had already had been taken except for one. There was a soldier sitting in the seat beside this one, and Mr. Robinson was surprised that he had not taken the one by the window; but, anyhow, he at once went towards it.
When he reached it, however, he saw that there was a notice on it. It was written in ink and said, "This seat is preserved for proper load balance, thank you." Mr Robinson had never seen such an unusual notice in a plane before, but he thought that the plane must be carrying something particularly heavy in it, so he walked on and found another empty seat, not beside a window, to sit in.
Two or three people tried to sit in the window seat beside the soldier, but they too read the notice and went on, when the plane was nearly full, a very beautiful girl hurried into the plane. The soldier, who was watching the passengers coming in, quickly took the notice off the seat beside himself and in this way succeededin having the company of the girl during the whole trip.
士兵的高招
由于生意方面的事，罗宾逊先生得出趟门。因为有点紧急，他决定坐飞机。乘机旅行时，他喜欢靠窗坐，故而一登机，他就寻找一个靠窗的座位。他发现只有一个靠窗的座位还空着。在那空座位边坐着一名士兵。令罗宾逊先生纳闷的是，这位士兵没有坐靠窗的位置。罗宾逊先生不管那些，他马上径直朝那个空座位走去。
然而，等到了那儿，他看见座位上有则启事，是用钢笔写的：“为保持装载平衡，特预设该位置，谢谢合作。”罗宾逊先生还从来没有在飞机上见过如此不同寻常的启事。不过，他想飞机上一定装了什么特别重的物品，于是他找了个不靠窗的位置。
又有两三个乘客试图坐在那个士兵旁的靠窗座位上，他们看到那则启事就走开了。当快满座时，一位非常美丽的姑娘匆匆走进机舱。一直在注意进舱旅客的那个士兵赶紧拿掉他旁边空座位上的启事。士兵用这种办法，成功地找到了一位姑娘一路作伴。
3.
A Bad Impression
Six people were travelling in a compartment on a train. Five of them were quiet and well behaved, but the sixth was a rude young man who was causing a lot of trouble to the other passengers.
At last this young man got out at a station with his two heavy bags. None of the other passengers helped him, but one of them waited until the rude young man was very far away and then opened the window and shouted to him, "You left something behind in the compartment!" Then he closed the window again.
The young man truned around and hurried back with his two bags. He was very tired when he arrived, but he shouted through the window, "What did I leave behind?"
As the train began to move again, the passenger who had called him back opened the window and said, "A very bad impression!"
一个坏印象
有六个人搭乘火车旅行，坐在同一车箱内。其中五个很安静，也很规矩。但第六个是个粗鲁的年轻人，给其他乘客招惹了许多麻烦。
最后，这位年轻人在一个车站带着两个沉重的皮箱下了车。没有一个旅客帮他的忙。有个人一直等到这位粗鲁的年轻人走得很远了，才打开窗户，对着他大声喊：“你把东西留在车厢里了!”然后，又把窗户关了起来。
年轻人转过身子，拎着两个沉甸甸的皮箱，匆匆赶了回来。他转回来时，显得非常疲倦，对着窗户大声喊：“我把什么东西留在车上了？”
当火车再次启动时，叫他回来的旅客打开窗户说：“一个极坏的印象!”
4.A Smugglar
The suspicious-looking man drove up to the border, where he was greeted by a sentry. When the guard looked in the trunk, he was surprised to find six sacks bulging at the seams.
"What's in here?" he asked.
"Dirt," the driver replied.
"Take them out," the guard instructed. "I want to check them."
Obliging, the man removed the bags, and sure enough, each one of them contained nothing but dirt. Reluctantly, the guard let him go.
A week later the man came back, and once again, the sentry looked in the truck.
"What's in the bags this time?" he asked.
"Dirt, more dirt." said the man.
Not believing him, the guard checked the sacks and, once again, he found nothing but soil.
The same thing happened every week for six months, and it finally became so frustrating to the guard that he quit and became a bartender. Then one night, the suspicious-looking fellow happened to stop by for a drink. Hurrying over to him, the former guard said, "Listen, pal, drinks are on the house tonight if you'll do me a favor: Just tell me what the hell you were smuggling all that time."
Grinning broadly, the man leaned close to the bartender's ear and whispered, "Cars."
走私犯
一个形迹可疑的人开车来到边境，哨兵迎了上去。哨兵在检查汽车行李箱时，惊奇地发现了六个接缝处鼓得紧绷绷的大口袋。
“里面装的是什么？”他问道。
“土。”司机回答。
“把袋子拿出来”，哨兵命令道：“我要检查。”
那人顺从地把口袋搬了出来。确实，口袋里除了土以外，别无他特。哨兵很不情愿地让他通过了。
一周后，那人又来了，哨兵再次检查汽车上的行李箱。
“这次袋子里装的是什么？”他问道。
“土，又运了一些土。”那人回答。
哨兵不相信，对那些袋子又进行了检查，结果发现，除了土以外，仍旧一无所获。
同样的事情每周重演一次，一共持续了六个月。最后，哨兵被弄得灰心丧气，干脆辞职去当了酒吧侍者。有天夜里，那个形迹可疑的人碰巧途经酒吧，下车喝酒。那位从前的哨兵急忙迎上前去对他说，“我说，老兄，你要是能帮我一个忙，今晚的酒就归我请客。你能不能告诉我，那段时间你到底在走私什么东西？”
那人俯身过来，凑近侍者的耳朵，裂开嘴笑嘻嘻地说：“汽车。”
let love take I and you together soar life
Never part separation，you know ？ why l to this to love you ， because “l love you”翻译：
老师：你长大了想做什么？
小约翰：医生！
老师：为什么呢？
小约翰：因为只有这个职业你可以让一个女人脱掉衣服而她的丈夫还为此买单
问：what does johnny what to be?
答：doctor1. A Nail Or A Fly?
An old gentleman whose eyesight was failing came to stay in a hotel room with a bottle of wine in each hand. On the wall there was a fly which he took for a nail. So the moment he hung them on, the bottles fell broken and the wine spilt all over the floor. When a waitress discovered what had happened, she showed deep sympathy for him and decided to do him a favour.
So the next morning when he was out taking a walk in the roof garden, she hammered a nail exactly where the fly had stayed.
Now the old man entered his room. The smell of the spilt wine reminded him of the accident. When he looked up at the wall, he found the fly was there again! He walked to it carefully adn slapped it with all his strength. On hearing a loud cry, the kind-hearted waitress rushed in. To her great surprise, the poor old man was there sitting on the floor, his teeth clenched and his right hand bleeding!
钉子还是苍蝇？
一位视力正在衰退的老绅士住进了一家旅馆的客房。他双手各拿一瓶酒。在墙上有只苍蝇，他误以为是枚钉子。他把两只瓶子朝上一挂，瓶子掉下来摔碎了，酒洒了一地。一个女服务员发现发生的事情以后，对他深表同情，决定帮他个忙。
于是，第二天早上他到楼顶花园散步时，她把一枚钉子钉在了苍蝇停过的地方。
这里，老人回到了房里。倒洒的酒味让他想起了那件事。他抬头往墙上一看，苍蝇又停在了那儿!他轻手轻脚地走近，使尽全力拍了一掌。听到一声大叫，好心的女服务员冲进房来。让她大为吃惊的是，可怜的老头正坐在地板上，牙关紧咬，右手滴血不止。
2.A Soldier's Brilliant Idea
Mr. Robinson had to travel somewhere on business, and as he was in a hurry, he decided to go by air. He liked sitting beside a window when he was flying, so when he got on to the plane, he looked for a window seat. He found all of them had already had been taken except for one. There was a soldier sitting in the seat beside this one, and Mr. Robinson was surprised that he had not taken the one by the window; but, anyhow, he at once went towards it.
When he reached it, however, he saw that there was a notice on it. It was written in ink and said, "This seat is preserved for proper load balance, thank you." Mr Robinson had never seen such an unusual notice in a plane before, but he thought that the plane must be carrying something particularly heavy in it, so he walked on and found another empty seat, not beside a window, to sit in.
Two or three people tried to sit in the window seat beside the soldier, but they too read the notice and went on, when the plane was nearly full, a very beautiful girl hurried into the plane. The soldier, who was watching the passengers coming in, quickly took the notice off the seat beside himself and in this way succeededin having the company of the girl during the whole trip.
士兵的高招
由于生意方面的事，罗宾逊先生得出趟门。因为有点紧急，他决定坐飞机。乘机旅行时，他喜欢靠窗坐，故而一登机，他就寻找一个靠窗的座位。他发现只有一个靠窗的座位还空着。在那空座位边坐着一名士兵。令罗宾逊先生纳闷的是，这位士兵没有坐靠窗的位置。罗宾逊先生不管那些，他马上径直朝那个空座位走去。
然而，等到了那儿，他看见座位上有则启事，是用钢笔写的：“为保持装载平衡，特预设该位置，谢谢合作。”罗宾逊先生还从来没有在飞机上见过如此不同寻常的启事。不过，他想飞机上一定装了什么特别重的物品，于是他找了个不靠窗的位置。
又有两三个乘客试图坐在那个士兵旁的靠窗座位上，他们看到那则启事就走开了。当快满座时，一位非常美丽的姑娘匆匆走进机舱。一直在注意进舱旅客的那个士兵赶紧拿掉他旁边空座位上的启事。士兵用这种办法，成功地找到了一位姑娘一路作伴。
3.
A Bad Impression
Six people were travelling in a compartment on a train. Five of them were quiet and well behaved, but the sixth was a rude young man who was causing a lot of trouble to the other passengers.
At last this young man got out at a station with his two heavy bags. None of the other passengers helped him, but one of them waited until the rude young man was very far away and then opened the window and shouted to him, "You left something behind in the compartment!" Then he closed the window again.
The young man truned around and hurried back with his two bags. He was very tired when he arrived, but he shouted through the window, "What did I leave behind?"
As the train began to move again, the passenger who had called him back opened the window and said, "A very bad impression!"
一个坏印象
有六个人搭乘火车旅行，坐在同一车箱内。其中五个很安静，也很规矩。但第六个是个粗鲁的年轻人，给其他乘客招惹了许多麻烦。
最后，这位年轻人在一个车站带着两个沉重的皮箱下了车。没有一个旅客帮他的忙。有个人一直等到这位粗鲁的年轻人走得很远了，才打开窗户，对着他大声喊：“你把东西留在车厢里了!”然后，又把窗户关了起来。
年轻人转过身子，拎着两个沉甸甸的皮箱，匆匆赶了回来。他转回来时，显得非常疲倦，对着窗户大声喊：“我把什么东西留在车上了？”
当火车再次启动时，叫他回来的旅客打开窗户说：“一个极坏的印象!”
4.A Smugglar
The suspicious-looking man drove up to the border, where he was greeted by a sentry. When the guard looked in the trunk, he was surprised to find six sacks bulging at the seams.
"What's in here?" he asked.
"Dirt," the driver replied.
"Take them out," the guard instructed. "I want to check them."
Obliging, the man removed the bags, and sure enough, each one of them contained nothing but dirt. Reluctantly, the guard let him go.
A week later the man came back, and once again, the sentry looked in the truck.
"What's in the bags this time?" he asked.
"Dirt, more dirt." said the man.
Not believing him, the guard checked the sacks and, once again, he found nothing but soil.
The same thing happened every week for six months, and it finally became so frustrating to the guard that he quit and became a bartender. Then one night, the suspicious-looking fellow happened to stop by for a drink. Hurrying over to him, the former guard said, "Listen, pal, drinks are on the house tonight if you'll do me a favor: Just tell me what the hell you were smuggling all that time."
Grinning broadly, the man leaned close to the bartender's ear and whispered, "Cars."
走私犯
一个形迹可疑的人开车来到边境，哨兵迎了上去。哨兵在检查汽车行李箱时，惊奇地发现了六个接缝处鼓得紧绷绷的大口袋。
“里面装的是什么？”他问道。
“土。”司机回答。
“把袋子拿出来”，哨兵命令道：“我要检查。”
那人顺从地把口袋搬了出来。确实，口袋里除了土以外，别无他特。哨兵很不情愿地让他通过了。
一周后，那人又来了，哨兵再次检查汽车上的行李箱。
“这次袋子里装的是什么？”他问道。
“土，又运了一些土。”那人回答。
哨兵不相信，对那些袋子又进行了检查，结果发现，除了土以外，仍旧一无所获。
同样的事情每周重演一次，一共持续了六个月。最后，哨兵被弄得灰心丧气，干脆辞职去当了酒吧侍者。有天夜里，那个形迹可疑的人碰巧途经酒吧，下车喝酒。那位从前的哨兵急忙迎上前去对他说，“我说，老兄，你要是能帮我一个忙，今晚的酒就归我请客。你能不能告诉我，那段时间你到底在走私什么东西？”
那人俯身过来，凑近侍者的耳朵，裂开嘴笑嘻嘻地说：“汽车。”
An old gentleman whose eyesight was failing came to stay in a hotel room with a bottle of wine in each hand. On the wall there was a fly which he took for a nail. So the moment he hung them on, the bottles fell broken and the wine spilt all over the floor. When a waitress discovered what had happened, she showed deep sympathy for him and decided to do him a favour.
So the next morning when he was out taking a walk in the roof garden, she hammered a nail exactly where the fly had stayed.
Now the old man entered his room. The smell of the spilt wine reminded him of the accident. When he looked up at the wall, he found the fly was there again! He walked to it carefully adn slapped it with all his strength. On hearing a loud cry, the kind-hearted waitress rushed in. To her great surprise, the poor old man was there sitting on the floor, his teeth clenched and his right hand bleeding!
钉子还是苍蝇？
一位视力正在衰退的老绅士住进了一家旅馆的客房。他双手各拿一瓶酒。在墙上有只苍蝇，他误以为是枚钉子。他把两只瓶子朝上一挂，瓶子掉下来摔碎了，酒洒了一地。一个女服务员发现发生的事情以后，对他深表同情，决定帮他个忙。
于是，第二天早上他到楼顶花园散步时，她把一枚钉子钉在了苍蝇停过的地方。
这里，老人回到了房里。倒洒的酒味让他想起了那件事。他抬头往墙上一看，苍蝇又停在了那儿!他轻手轻脚地走近，使尽全力拍了一掌。听到一声大叫，好心的女服务员冲进房来。让她大为吃惊的是，可怜的老头正坐在地板上，牙关紧咬，右手滴血不止。
2.A Soldier's Brilliant Idea
Mr. Robinson had to travel somewhere on business, and as he was in a hurry, he decided to go by air. He liked sitting beside a window when he was flying, so when he got on to the plane, he looked for a window seat. He found all of them had already had been taken except for one. There was a soldier sitting in the seat beside this one, and Mr. Robinson was surprised that he had not taken the one by the window; but, anyhow, he at once went towards it.
When he reached it, however, he saw that there was a notice on it. It was written in ink and said, "This seat is preserved for proper load balance, thank you." Mr Robinson had never seen such an unusual notice in a plane before, but he thought that the plane must be carrying something particularly heavy in it, so he walked on and found another empty seat, not beside a window, to sit in.
Two or three people tried to sit in the window seat beside the soldier, but they too read the notice and went on, when the plane was nearly full, a very beautiful girl hurried into the plane. The soldier, who was watching the passengers coming in, quickly took the notice off the seat beside himself and in this way succeededin having the company of the girl during the whole trip.
士兵的高招
由于生意方面的事，罗宾逊先生得出趟门。因为有点紧急，他决定坐飞机。乘机旅行时，他喜欢靠窗坐，故而一登机，他就寻找一个靠窗的座位。他发现只有一个靠窗的座位还空着。在那空座位边坐着一名士兵。令罗宾逊先生纳闷的是，这位士兵没有坐靠窗的位置。罗宾逊先生不管那些，他马上径直朝那个空座位走去。
然而，等到了那儿，他看见座位上有则启事，是用钢笔写的：“为保持装载平衡，特预设该位置，谢谢合作。”罗宾逊先生还从来没有在飞机上见过如此不同寻常的启事。不过，他想飞机上一定装了什么特别重的物品，于是他找了个不靠窗的位置。
又有两三个乘客试图坐在那个士兵旁的靠窗座位上，他们看到那则启事就走开了。当快满座时，一位非常美丽的姑娘匆匆走进机舱。一直在注意进舱旅客的那个士兵赶紧拿掉他旁边空座位上的启事。士兵用这种办法，成功地找到了一位姑娘一路作伴。
3.
A Bad Impression
Six people were travelling in a compartment on a train. Five of them were quiet and well behaved, but the sixth was a rude young man who was causing a lot of trouble to the other passengers.
At last this young man got out at a station with his two heavy bags. None of the other passengers helped him, but one of them waited until the rude young man was very far away and then opened the window and shouted to him, "You left something behind in the compartment!" Then he closed the window again.
The young man truned around and hurried back with his two bags. He was very tired when he arrived, but he shouted through the window, "What did I leave behind?"
As the train began to move again, the passenger who had called him back opened the window and said, "A very bad impression!"
一个坏印象
有六个人搭乘火车旅行，坐在同一车箱内。其中五个很安静，也很规矩。但第六个是个粗鲁的年轻人，给其他乘客招惹了许多麻烦。
最后，这位年轻人在一个车站带着两个沉重的皮箱下了车。没有一个旅客帮他的忙。有个人一直等到这位粗鲁的年轻人走得很远了，才打开窗户，对着他大声喊：“你把东西留在车厢里了!”然后，又把窗户关了起来。
年轻人转过身子，拎着两个沉甸甸的皮箱，匆匆赶了回来。他转回来时，显得非常疲倦，对着窗户大声喊：“我把什么东西留在车上了？”
当火车再次启动时，叫他回来的旅客打开窗户说：“一个极坏的印象!”
4.A Smugglar
The suspicious-looking man drove up to the border, where he was greeted by a sentry. When the guard looked in the trunk, he was surprised to find six sacks bulging at the seams.
"What's in here?" he asked.
"Dirt," the driver replied.
"Take them out," the guard instructed. "I want to check them."
Obliging, the man removed the bags, and sure enough, each one of them contained nothing but dirt. Reluctantly, the guard let him go.
A week later the man came back, and once again, the sentry looked in the truck.
"What's in the bags this time?" he asked.
"Dirt, more dirt." said the man.
Not believing him, the guard checked the sacks and, once again, he found nothing but soil.
The same thing happened every week for six months, and it finally became so frustrating to the guard that he quit and became a bartender. Then one night, the suspicious-looking fellow happened to stop by for a drink. Hurrying over to him, the former guard said, "Listen, pal, drinks are on the house tonight if you'll do me a favor: Just tell me what the hell you were smuggling all that time."
Grinning broadly, the man leaned close to the bartender's ear and whispered, "Cars."
走私犯
一个形迹可疑的人开车来到边境，哨兵迎了上去。哨兵在检查汽车行李箱时，惊奇地发现了六个接缝处鼓得紧绷绷的大口袋。
“里面装的是什么？”他问道。
“土。”司机回答。
“把袋子拿出来”，哨兵命令道：“我要检查。”
那人顺从地把口袋搬了出来。确实，口袋里除了土以外，别无他特。哨兵很不情愿地让他通过了。
一周后，那人又来了，哨兵再次检查汽车上的行李箱。
“这次袋子里装的是什么？”他问道。
“土，又运了一些土。”那人回答。
哨兵不相信，对那些袋子又进行了检查，结果发现，除了土以外，仍旧一无所获。
同样的事情每周重演一次，一共持续了六个月。最后，哨兵被弄得灰心丧气，干脆辞职去当了酒吧侍者。有天夜里，那个形迹可疑的人碰巧途经酒吧，下车喝酒。那位从前的哨兵急忙迎上前去对他说，“我说，老兄，你要是能帮我一个忙，今晚的酒就归我请客。你能不能告诉我，那段时间你到底在走私什么东西？”
那人俯身过来，凑近侍者的耳朵，裂开嘴笑嘻嘻地说：“汽车。”
let love take I and you together soar life
Never part separation，you know ？ why l to this to love you ， because “l love you”翻译：
老师：你长大了想做什么？
小约翰：医生！
老师：为什么呢？
小约翰：因为只有这个职业你可以让一个女人脱掉衣服而她的丈夫还为此买单
问：what does johnny what to be?
答：doctor1. A Nail Or A Fly?
An old gentleman whose eyesight was failing came to stay in a hotel room with a bottle of wine in each hand. On the wall there was a fly which he took for a nail. So the moment he hung them on, the bottles fell broken and the wine spilt all over the floor. When a waitress discovered what had happened, she showed deep sympathy for him and decided to do him a favour.
So the next morning when he was out taking a walk in the roof garden, she hammered a nail exactly where the fly had stayed.
Now the old man entered his room. The smell of the spilt wine reminded him of the accident. When he looked up at the wall, he found the fly was there again! He walked to it carefully adn slapped it with all his strength. On hearing a loud cry, the kind-hearted waitress rushed in. To her great surprise, the poor old man was there sitting on the floor, his teeth clenched and his right hand bleeding!
钉子还是苍蝇？
一位视力正在衰退的老绅士住进了一家旅馆的客房。他双手各拿一瓶酒。在墙上有只苍蝇，他误以为是枚钉子。他把两只瓶子朝上一挂，瓶子掉下来摔碎了，酒洒了一地。一个女服务员发现发生的事情以后，对他深表同情，决定帮他个忙。
于是，第二天早上他到楼顶花园散步时，她把一枚钉子钉在了苍蝇停过的地方。
这里，老人回到了房里。倒洒的酒味让他想起了那件事。他抬头往墙上一看，苍蝇又停在了那儿!他轻手轻脚地走近，使尽全力拍了一掌。听到一声大叫，好心的女服务员冲进房来。让她大为吃惊的是，可怜的老头正坐在地板上，牙关紧咬，右手滴血不止。
2.A Soldier's Brilliant Idea
Mr. Robinson had to travel somewhere on business, and as he was in a hurry, he decided to go by air. He liked sitting beside a window when he was flying, so when he got on to the plane, he looked for a window seat. He found all of them had already had been taken except for one. There was a soldier sitting in the seat beside this one, and Mr. Robinson was surprised that he had not taken the one by the window; but, anyhow, he at once went towards it.
When he reached it, however, he saw that there was a notice on it. It was written in ink and said, "This seat is preserved for proper load balance, thank you." Mr Robinson had never seen such an unusual notice in a plane before, but he thought that the plane must be carrying something particularly heavy in it, so he walked on and found another empty seat, not beside a window, to sit in.
Two or three people tried to sit in the window seat beside the soldier, but they too read the notice and went on, when the plane was nearly full, a very beautiful girl hurried into the plane. The soldier, who was watching the passengers coming in, quickly took the notice off the seat beside himself and in this way succeededin having the company of the girl during the whole trip.
士兵的高招
由于生意方面的事，罗宾逊先生得出趟门。因为有点紧急，他决定坐飞机。乘机旅行时，他喜欢靠窗坐，故而一登机，他就寻找一个靠窗的座位。他发现只有一个靠窗的座位还空着。在那空座位边坐着一名士兵。令罗宾逊先生纳闷的是，这位士兵没有坐靠窗的位置。罗宾逊先生不管那些，他马上径直朝那个空座位走去。
然而，等到了那儿，他看见座位上有则启事，是用钢笔写的：“为保持装载平衡，特预设该位置，谢谢合作。”罗宾逊先生还从来没有在飞机上见过如此不同寻常的启事。不过，他想飞机上一定装了什么特别重的物品，于是他找了个不靠窗的位置。
又有两三个乘客试图坐在那个士兵旁的靠窗座位上，他们看到那则启事就走开了。当快满座时，一位非常美丽的姑娘匆匆走进机舱。一直在注意进舱旅客的那个士兵赶紧拿掉他旁边空座位上的启事。士兵用这种办法，成功地找到了一位姑娘一路作伴。
3.
A Bad Impression
Six people were travelling in a compartment on a train. Five of them were quiet and well behaved, but the sixth was a rude young man who was causing a lot of trouble to the other passengers.
At last this young man got out at a station with his two heavy bags. None of the other passengers helped him, but one of them waited until the rude young man was very far away and then opened the window and shouted to him, "You left something behind in the compartment!" Then he closed the window again.
The young man truned around and hurried back with his two bags. He was very tired when he arrived, but he shouted through the window, "What did I leave behind?"
As the train began to move again, the passenger who had called him back opened the window and said, "A very bad impression!"
一个坏印象
有六个人搭乘火车旅行，坐在同一车箱内。其中五个很安静，也很规矩。但第六个是个粗鲁的年轻人，给其他乘客招惹了许多麻烦。
最后，这位年轻人在一个车站带着两个沉重的皮箱下了车。没有一个旅客帮他的忙。有个人一直等到这位粗鲁的年轻人走得很远了，才打开窗户，对着他大声喊：“你把东西留在车厢里了!”然后，又把窗户关了起来。
年轻人转过身子，拎着两个沉甸甸的皮箱，匆匆赶了回来。他转回来时，显得非常疲倦，对着窗户大声喊：“我把什么东西留在车上了？”
当火车再次启动时，叫他回来的旅客打开窗户说：“一个极坏的印象!”
4.A Smugglar
The suspicious-looking man drove up to the border, where he was greeted by a sentry. When the guard looked in the trunk, he was surprised to find six sacks bulging at the seams.
"What's in here?" he asked.
"Dirt," the driver replied.
"Take them out," the guard instructed. "I want to check them."
Obliging, the man removed the bags, and sure enough, each one of them contained nothing but dirt. Reluctantly, the guard let him go.
A week later the man came back, and once again, the sentry looked in the truck.
"What's in the bags this time?" he asked.
"Dirt, more dirt." said the man.
Not believing him, the guard checked the sacks and, once again, he found nothing but soil.
The same thing happened every week for six months, and it finally became so frustrating to the guard that he quit and became a bartender. Then one night, the suspicious-looking fellow happened to stop by for a drink. Hurrying over to him, the former guard said, "Listen, pal, drinks are on the house tonight if you'll do me a favor: Just tell me what the hell you were smuggling all that time."
Grinning broadly, the man leaned close to the bartender's ear and whispered, "Cars."
走私犯
一个形迹可疑的人开车来到边境，哨兵迎了上去。哨兵在检查汽车行李箱时，惊奇地发现了六个接缝处鼓得紧绷绷的大口袋。
“里面装的是什么？”他问道。
“土。”司机回答。
“把袋子拿出来”，哨兵命令道：“我要检查。”
那人顺从地把口袋搬了出来。确实，口袋里除了土以外，别无他特。哨兵很不情愿地让他通过了。
一周后，那人又来了，哨兵再次检查汽车上的行李箱。
“这次袋子里装的是什么？”他问道。
“土，又运了一些土。”那人回答。
哨兵不相信，对那些袋子又进行了检查，结果发现，除了土以外，仍旧一无所获。
同样的事情每周重演一次，一共持续了六个月。最后，哨兵被弄得灰心丧气，干脆辞职去当了酒吧侍者。有天夜里，那个形迹可疑的人碰巧途经酒吧，下车喝酒。那位从前的哨兵急忙迎上前去对他说，“我说，老兄，你要是能帮我一个忙，今晚的酒就归我请客。你能不能告诉我，那段时间你到底在走私什么东西？”
那人俯身过来，凑近侍者的耳朵，裂开嘴笑嘻嘻地说：“汽车。”
the old cat
an old woman had a cat. the cat was very old; she could not run quickly, and she could not bite, because she was so old. one day the old cat saw a mouse; she jumped and caught the mouse. but she could not bite it; so the mouse got out of her mouth and ran away, because the cat could not bite it.
then the old woman became very angry because the cat had not killed the mouse. she began to hit the cat. the cat said, "do not hit your old servant. i have worked for you for many years, and i would work for you still, but i am too old. do not be unkind to the old, but remember what good work the old did when they were young."
【译文】
老猫
一位老妇有只猫，这只猫很老，它跑不快了，也咬不了东西，因为它年纪太大了。一天，老猫发现一只老鼠，它跳过去抓这只老鼠，然而，它咬不住这只老鼠。因此，老鼠从它的嘴边溜掉了，因为老猫咬不了它。
于是，老妇很生气，因为老猫没有把老鼠咬死。她开始打这只猫，猫说：“不要打你的老仆人，我已经为你服务了很多年，而且还愿意为你效劳，但是，我实在太老了，对年纪大的不要这么无情，要记住老年人在年青时所做过的有益的事情。”
a man was going to the house of some rich person. as he went along the road, he saw a box of good apples at the side of the road. he said, "i do not want to eat those apples; for the rich man will give me much food; he will give me very nice food to eat." then he took the apples and threw them away into the dust.
he went on and came to a river. the river had become very big; so he could not go over it. he waited for some time; then he said, "i cannot go to the rich man's house today, for i cannot get over the river."
he began to go home. he had eaten no food that day. he began to want food. he came to the apples, and he was glad to take them out of the dust and eat them.
do not throw good things away; you may be glad to have them at some other time.
【译文】
一个人正朝着一个富人的房子走去，当他沿着路走时，在路的一边他发现一箱好苹果，他说：“我不打算吃那些苹果，因为富人会给我更多的食物，他会给我很好吃的东西。”然后他拿起苹果，一把扔到土里去。
他继续走，来到河边，河涨水了，因此，他到不了河对岸，他等了一会儿，然后他说：“今天我去不了富人家了，因为我不能渡过河。”
他开始回家，那天他没有吃东西。他就开始去找吃的，他找到苹果，很高兴地把它们从尘土中翻出来吃了。
不要把好东西扔掉，换个时候你会觉得它们大有用处。
the city mouse and the country mouse
once there were two mice. they were friends. one mouse lived in the country; the other mouse lived in the city. after many years the country mouse saw the city mouse; he said, "do come and see me at my house in the country." so the city mouse went. the city mouse said, "this food is not good, and your house is not good. why do you live in a hole in the field? you should come and live in the city. you would live in a nice house made of stone. you would have nice food to eat. you must come and see me at my house in the city."
the country mouse went to the house of the city mouse. it was a very good house. nice food was set ready for them to eat. but just as they began to eat they heard a great noise. the city mouse cried, " run! run! the cat is coming!" they ran away quickly and hid.
after some time they came out. when they came out, the country mouse said, "i do not like living in the city. i like living in my hole in the field. for it is nicer to be poor and happy, than to be rich and afraid."
【译文】
城里老鼠和乡下老鼠
从前，有两只老鼠，它们是好朋友。一只老鼠居住在乡村，另一只住在城里。很多年以后，乡下老鼠碰到城里老鼠，它说：“你一定要来我乡下的家看看。 ”于是，城里老鼠就去了。乡下老鼠领着它到了一块田地上它自己的家里。它把所有最精美食物都找出来给城里老鼠。城里老鼠说：“这东西不好吃，你的家也不好，你为什么住在田野的地洞里呢？你应该搬到城里去住，你能住上用石头造的漂亮房子，还会吃上美味佳肴，你应该到我城里的家看看。”
乡下老鼠就到城里老鼠的家去。房子十分漂亮，好吃的东西也为他们摆好了。可是正当他们要开始吃的时候，听见很大的一阵响声，城里的老鼠叫喊起来：“快跑！快跑！猫来了！”他们飞快地跑开躲藏起来。
过了一会儿，他们出来了。当他们出来时，乡下老鼠说：“我不喜欢住在城里，我喜欢住在田野我的洞里。因为这样虽然贫穷但是快乐自在，比起虽然富有却要过着提心吊胆的生活来说，要好些。
