长的英语故事搞笑幽默

1.Lady First 女士优先
A teacher asked her class: "Is the sentence ' The ox and
the cow are in the fields' correct?" Most of the children said: "Yes, it is all
right!" And only one little boy said: "No, it is not correct. The lady must be
mentioned first."
女士优先
一位老师问班上的学生：”公牛和母牛在田里“这个句子对吗？” 大多数学生回答说：“对，一点不错。”
只有一个小男孩说：“不对，应该先说女士。”
2.Where is the egg?
Teacher:Can you make a sentence with the word "egg"?
Student:Yes.I ate a piece of cake yesterday.
Teacher:Then where is the “egg"?
Student:In the cake,Sir.
鸡蛋在哪里？
老师：你能用“鸡蛋”一词造句吗？
学生：可以。我昨天吃了一块蛋糕。
老师：“鸡蛋”在哪？
学生：在蛋糕里，先生。

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　　jerry went to a psychiatrist. "doc," he said, "i've got trouble. every time i get into bed, i think there's somebody under it. i'm going crazy!" just put yourself in my hands for one year," said the shrink. "come to me three times a week, and i'll cure your fears." how much do you charge?" a hundred dollars per visit." i'll sleep on it," said jerry. six months later the doctor met jerry on the street. "why didn't you ever come to see me again?" asked the psychiatrist. for a hundred bucks a visit? the bartender cured me for $10." "is that so! how?" he told me to cut the legs off the bed!" ain't nobody under there now!!! 杰瑞去看精神病医生。“医生，我有些不对劲。每次睡觉的时候，我都感觉有人在床下。我要疯了！”“给我一年时间，”医生说，“每周来三次，我会治好你。”“费用是多少呢？”“每次一百美元。”“我会认真考虑的。”杰瑞答道。六个月后医生和杰瑞在街上相遇了，“为什么你再也没来呢？”医生问。“一次一百块钱吗？有个酒吧服务生收了十块钱就把我治好了。”“真的？他怎么做到的？”“他让我把床腿锯掉。现在那没人了！”