英语幽默小故事五年级
- 作者: 长的帅免费日
- 来源: 数月亮
- 2020-09-30
Without you,my world began to dim;without you,my way forward was so obscure and vague.I regretted that last night I didn't cherish you well.So today--I have to buy another pair of glasses to take your place.
失去你后，我的世界暗淡起来，没有你，我的前路竟然是那样模糊、茫然。我后悔昨晚没能好好珍惜你，今天我只能再去――买副眼镜代替你。
Not every flower symbolize for love, but rose can do it; not every tree can stand thirst, but alamo can do it, not every pig can read short message, but you can do it. congratulations!
不是每一朵花都能代表爱情，但是玫瑰做到了；不是每一种树都能耐住干渴，但是白杨做到了；不是每一头猪都能看短消息，但是你做到了。恭喜你！
You may fall from mountain, you may fall from tree, but the best way to fall, is fall to my love.
1 day u'll B surprised 2C ME beside U. U & Me laughing, U&Me crying, U & Me dreaming, U & Me holding on, U & Me...just U & Me sitting in a MENTAL & ME CHECKING U.
一天你会很惊讶的发现我出现在你身边。你我一起欢笑，一起哭泣，一起梦想，依偎在一起，一起……只不过是你我一起坐在精神病院里并且我（医生）给你（精神病人）做检查。
Once god came up 2 me & granted me a wish. I asked 4 world peace. That's impossible, he said.
有一次上帝来到我面前答应了我一个愿望。我说我要世界和平。“那是不可能的”他说。
Then I asked him 2 give u brains. He said, Let me try world peace.
然后我请让你变聪明。他说：“你还是让我试试让世界和平吧。”
Every morning I pray 2 God that
everybody should get a friend like u,
...
每天早晨我都向上帝祷告：希望每个人都能够拥有像你这样的朋友……
Why should I be the only to
suffer...
为什么只有我要忍受有你这样的朋友？
If u hide, I'll seek 4 u. If u r lost, I'll search 4 you. If u'll leave, I'll wait 4 u. If days take u away 4m me, I'll fight 4 u.
如果你躲起来，我会去找你。如果你不见了，我会寻觅你。如果你离开了，我会等你。如果日子会把你带走，我会为你战斗。
But, if u stop sending msgs, I'll kill you.
但是，如果你停止发短信息，我会宰了你。
Logic Reasoning
A fourth-grade teacher was giving her pupils a lesson on logic.
"Here is the situation," she said. "a man is standing up in a boat in the middle of a river, fishing. He loses his balance, falls in, and begins splashing and yellin
g for help. His wife hears the commotion, knows that he can't swim, and runs down to the bank. Why do you think she ran to the bank?"
A girl raised her hand and asked, "to draw out all of his savings?"
逻辑推理
小学四年级的教师正在给学生们上一堂逻辑课。她举了这么一个例子：“有这样一种情况，一个男人在河中心的船上钓鱼，突然失去重心掉进了水里。于是他开始挣扎并喊救命。他的妻子听到了他的喊声，知道他并不会游泳，所以她就急忙跑向河岸。谁能告诉我这是为什么？” 一个女生举手答道，“是不是去取他的存款？”
[注]bank在英语中除了我们平时很熟悉的“银行”之外，还有“河岸”的意思。
Teacher: What great event happened in 1809?
Little Willy: Abraham Lincoln was born.
Teacher: Correct. And what great event happened in 1812?
Little Willy: Abraham Lincoln had his third birthday.
林肯过生日
老师：1809年发生了什么重大事件？
小威利：亚伯拉罕-林肯诞生。
老师：正确。那么1812年发生了什么重要事件呢？
小威利：亚伯拉罕-林肯过他的三周岁生日。
（一）
小明上英文课时跟老师说：May I go to the toilet?
老师说：Go ahead。小明就坐了下来。
过了一会儿，小明又跟老师说：May I go to the toilet?
老师说：Go ahead。小明又坐了下来。
他旁边的同学于是忍不住问：你不是跟老师说要上厕所吗？怎么不去？
小明说：你没听老师说“去你个头”啊！
（二）
一对热恋中的男女。女生非常没有安全感，于是对着男友说：“
SAY I LOVEYOU!! SAY IT! SAY IT! SAY IT!”
男的答道：“I T!”
（三）
一位在美的留学生，想要考国际驾照。在考试时因为过于紧张，
看到地上标线是向左转。
他不放心的问道：turn left？
监考官回答:right。于是他立刻向右转……
（四）
某人刻苦学习英语，终有小成。一日上街不慎与一老外相撞，
忙说：I am sorry。
老外应道：I am sorry too。
某人听后又道：I am sorry three。
老外不解，问：What are you sorry for?
某人无奈，道：I am sorry five。
1
调查员:What is your father"s name?
: 小 弟:Happy!!
: 调查员:What is your mother"s name?
: 小 弟:Smile!
: 调查员:Are you joking?
: 小 弟:No!!That"s my sister!! I am Kidding!!
http://corner.youth.cn/humor/index.htm
里面都是幽默笑话，你自己可以找下啊。
推荐几篇好了
i work for 7up"! 我可是在七喜公司工作呀
four best friends met at the hospital since their wives were giving births to their babies. the nurse comes up to the first man and says, "congratulations, you got twins." the man said "how strange, i'm the manager of minnesota twins." after awhile the nurse comes up to the second man and says, "congratulations, you got triplets." man was like "hmmm, strange i worked as a director for the "3 musketeers." finally, the nurse comes up to the third man and says
"congratulations, you got twins x2." man is happy and says, "ironic, i work for the hotel "4 seasons." all three of them are happy until they see their last buddy jumping all over the place, cursing god and banging his head on the wall. they asked him what's wrong and he answered, "what's wrong? i work for 7up"!
四个好朋友在医院里碰面了,他们的妻子正在生产.护士过来对第一个男人说:"恭喜,你得了双胞胎."男人说:"多奇怪呀,我是明尼苏达双子队的经理."过了一会儿,护士过来对第二个男人说:"恭喜,你得了三胞胎."男人很喜欢:"嗯,又巧了.我是3m公司的董事."最后,护士跑来对第三个男人说:"恭喜,你得了2对双胞胎."男人很开心地说:"真令人啼笑皆非,我为四季宾馆工作."他们三个都很高兴,但第四个伙伴急得像热锅上的蚂蚁,咒骂上帝并用头撞墙.他们问他有什么不对劲,他回答道:"什么不对劲?我可是在七喜公司工作呀!"
five hundred times 五百遍
in the traffic court of a large mid-western city, a young lady was brought before the judge to answer a ticket given her for driving through a red light. she explained to his honor that she was a school teacher and requested an immediate disposal of her case in order that she might hasten on to her classes. a wild gleam came into the judge's eye. "you are a school teacher, eh?" said he. "madam, i shall realize my lifelong ambition. sit down at that table and write 'i went through a red light' five hundred times."
在中西部一个大城市的交通法庭里，一位年轻女士被带到法官面前，她由于开车闯红灯被开了罚单。女士向法官解释，她是一名学校老师，请求法官马上处理她的案子，以便可以赶回去上课。法官眼中闪过一丝狡黠，说道：“你是学校的老师，对吗？女士，我马上要实现我毕生的愿望了。在那张桌子旁坐下，写‘我开车闯了红灯’500遍。”（这个不错吧，哈哈，刚开始还没完全懂呢）
失去你后，我的世界暗淡起来，没有你，我的前路竟然是那样模糊、茫然。我后悔昨晚没能好好珍惜你，今天我只能再去――买副眼镜代替你。
Not every flower symbolize for love, but rose can do it; not every tree can stand thirst, but alamo can do it, not every pig can read short message, but you can do it. congratulations!
不是每一朵花都能代表爱情，但是玫瑰做到了；不是每一种树都能耐住干渴，但是白杨做到了；不是每一头猪都能看短消息，但是你做到了。恭喜你！
You may fall from mountain, you may fall from tree, but the best way to fall, is fall to my love.
1 day u'll B surprised 2C ME beside U. U & Me laughing, U&Me crying, U & Me dreaming, U & Me holding on, U & Me...just U & Me sitting in a MENTAL & ME CHECKING U.
一天你会很惊讶的发现我出现在你身边。你我一起欢笑，一起哭泣，一起梦想，依偎在一起，一起……只不过是你我一起坐在精神病院里并且我（医生）给你（精神病人）做检查。
Once god came up 2 me & granted me a wish. I asked 4 world peace. That's impossible, he said.
有一次上帝来到我面前答应了我一个愿望。我说我要世界和平。“那是不可能的”他说。
Then I asked him 2 give u brains. He said, Let me try world peace.
然后我请让你变聪明。他说：“你还是让我试试让世界和平吧。”
Every morning I pray 2 God that
everybody should get a friend like u,
...
每天早晨我都向上帝祷告：希望每个人都能够拥有像你这样的朋友……
Why should I be the only to
suffer...
为什么只有我要忍受有你这样的朋友？
If u hide, I'll seek 4 u. If u r lost, I'll search 4 you. If u'll leave, I'll wait 4 u. If days take u away 4m me, I'll fight 4 u.
如果你躲起来，我会去找你。如果你不见了，我会寻觅你。如果你离开了，我会等你。如果日子会把你带走，我会为你战斗。
But, if u stop sending msgs, I'll kill you.
但是，如果你停止发短信息，我会宰了你。
Logic Reasoning
A fourth-grade teacher was giving her pupils a lesson on logic.
"Here is the situation," she said. "a man is standing up in a boat in the middle of a river, fishing. He loses his balance, falls in, and begins splashing and yellin
g for help. His wife hears the commotion, knows that he can't swim, and runs down to the bank. Why do you think she ran to the bank?"
A girl raised her hand and asked, "to draw out all of his savings?"
逻辑推理
小学四年级的教师正在给学生们上一堂逻辑课。她举了这么一个例子：“有这样一种情况，一个男人在河中心的船上钓鱼，突然失去重心掉进了水里。于是他开始挣扎并喊救命。他的妻子听到了他的喊声，知道他并不会游泳，所以她就急忙跑向河岸。谁能告诉我这是为什么？” 一个女生举手答道，“是不是去取他的存款？”
[注]bank在英语中除了我们平时很熟悉的“银行”之外，还有“河岸”的意思。
Teacher: What great event happened in 1809?
Little Willy: Abraham Lincoln was born.
Teacher: Correct. And what great event happened in 1812?
Little Willy: Abraham Lincoln had his third birthday.
林肯过生日
老师：1809年发生了什么重大事件？
小威利：亚伯拉罕-林肯诞生。
老师：正确。那么1812年发生了什么重要事件呢？
小威利：亚伯拉罕-林肯过他的三周岁生日。
（一）
小明上英文课时跟老师说：May I go to the toilet?
老师说：Go ahead。小明就坐了下来。
过了一会儿，小明又跟老师说：May I go to the toilet?
老师说：Go ahead。小明又坐了下来。
他旁边的同学于是忍不住问：你不是跟老师说要上厕所吗？怎么不去？
小明说：你没听老师说“去你个头”啊！
（二）
一对热恋中的男女。女生非常没有安全感，于是对着男友说：“
SAY I LOVEYOU!! SAY IT! SAY IT! SAY IT!”
男的答道：“I T!”
（三）
一位在美的留学生，想要考国际驾照。在考试时因为过于紧张，
看到地上标线是向左转。
他不放心的问道：turn left？
监考官回答:right。于是他立刻向右转……
（四）
某人刻苦学习英语，终有小成。一日上街不慎与一老外相撞，
忙说：I am sorry。
老外应道：I am sorry too。
某人听后又道：I am sorry three。
老外不解，问：What are you sorry for?
某人无奈，道：I am sorry five。
1
调查员:What is your father"s name?
: 小 弟:Happy!!
: 调查员:What is your mother"s name?
: 小 弟:Smile!
: 调查员:Are you joking?
: 小 弟:No!!That"s my sister!! I am Kidding!!
http://corner.youth.cn/humor/index.htm
里面都是幽默笑话，你自己可以找下啊。
推荐几篇好了
i work for 7up"! 我可是在七喜公司工作呀
four best friends met at the hospital since their wives were giving births to their babies. the nurse comes up to the first man and says, "congratulations, you got twins." the man said "how strange, i'm the manager of minnesota twins." after awhile the nurse comes up to the second man and says, "congratulations, you got triplets." man was like "hmmm, strange i worked as a director for the "3 musketeers." finally, the nurse comes up to the third man and says
"congratulations, you got twins x2." man is happy and says, "ironic, i work for the hotel "4 seasons." all three of them are happy until they see their last buddy jumping all over the place, cursing god and banging his head on the wall. they asked him what's wrong and he answered, "what's wrong? i work for 7up"!
四个好朋友在医院里碰面了,他们的妻子正在生产.护士过来对第一个男人说:"恭喜,你得了双胞胎."男人说:"多奇怪呀,我是明尼苏达双子队的经理."过了一会儿,护士过来对第二个男人说:"恭喜,你得了三胞胎."男人很喜欢:"嗯,又巧了.我是3m公司的董事."最后,护士跑来对第三个男人说:"恭喜,你得了2对双胞胎."男人很开心地说:"真令人啼笑皆非,我为四季宾馆工作."他们三个都很高兴,但第四个伙伴急得像热锅上的蚂蚁,咒骂上帝并用头撞墙.他们问他有什么不对劲,他回答道:"什么不对劲?我可是在七喜公司工作呀!"
five hundred times 五百遍
in the traffic court of a large mid-western city, a young lady was brought before the judge to answer a ticket given her for driving through a red light. she explained to his honor that she was a school teacher and requested an immediate disposal of her case in order that she might hasten on to her classes. a wild gleam came into the judge's eye. "you are a school teacher, eh?" said he. "madam, i shall realize my lifelong ambition. sit down at that table and write 'i went through a red light' five hundred times."
在中西部一个大城市的交通法庭里，一位年轻女士被带到法官面前，她由于开车闯红灯被开了罚单。女士向法官解释，她是一名学校老师，请求法官马上处理她的案子，以便可以赶回去上课。法官眼中闪过一丝狡黠，说道：“你是学校的老师，对吗？女士，我马上要实现我毕生的愿望了。在那张桌子旁坐下，写‘我开车闯了红灯’500遍。”（这个不错吧，哈哈，刚开始还没完全懂呢）
