有关食物英语幽默故事
- 作者: 任时光匆匆8666557
- 来源: 数月亮
- 2021-09-01
A Sikh, an Italian & a Frenchman were drinking in a pub when the subject of
WOMAN came up in their conversation.
The Italian said, in Italy we treat the woman like a guitar. We press the top & tickle the bottom.
The Frenchman said, in France, we treat the woman like cognac. We smell first & then lick slowly. What about the woman in your country,
Mr Singh?
The Italian asked.
In our country, we treat the woman like a record. First we play the front &/when we finish, we flip it over & pl
笑话2.About Drivers
What's the first thing that come to your mind when you see a Chinese man driving a BMW 3 series?
* A pimp
What's the first thing that comes to your mind when you see a Malay man driving a BMW 3 series?
* Ahmad
What's the first thing that comes to your mind when you see an Indian man driving a BMW 3 series?
* A car jockey
What's the first thing that comes to your mind when you see a Bhai driving a BMW 3 series?
* A car repossesor.
笑话3.Bill Gates
Bill Gates dies in a car accident. He finds himself in purgatory, being sized up by God
"Well, Bill, I'm really confused on this call; I'm not sure whether to send you to Heaven or Hell. After all, you enormously helped society by putting a computer in almost every home in America, yet you also created that ghastly Windows '95. I'm going to do something
I've never done before; in your case, I'm going to let you decide where you want to go."
Bill replied, " Well, what's the difference between the two?"
God said, "I'm willing to let you visit both places briefly, if it will help your decision."
"Fine, but where should I go first?"
"I'll leave that up to you."
"Okay then," said Bill, "Let's try Hell first."
So Bill went to Hell.
It was a beautiful, clean, sandy beach with clear waters and lots of beautiful women running around, playing in the water, laughing and frolicking about. The sun was shining, the temperature perfect. He was very pleased.
"This is great!" he told God. "If this is hell, I REALLY want to see heaven!"
"Fine," said God, and off they went. Heaven was a place high in the clouds, with angels drifting about, playing harps and singing. It was nice, but not as enticing as Hell.
Bill thought for a quick minute, and rendered his decision.
"Hmmmm. I think I'd prefer Hell," he told God. "Fine," retorted God, "as you desire." So Bill Gates went to Hell. Two weeks later, God decided to check on the late billionaire to see how he was doing in Hell. When he got there, he found Bill, shackled to a wall, screaming amongst hot flames in dark caves, being burned and tortured by demons.
"How's everything going?" he asked Bill.
Bill responded, with his voice filled with anguish and disappointment,
"this is awful! This is nothing like the Hell I visited two weeks ago! I can't believe this is happening! What happened to that other place, with the beaches, the beautiful women playing in the water????! "That was the SCREENSAVER," replied God.
真抱歉,我已经尽力了.这些只好你自己删节了,的确有些词初一应该没学.真不好意思啊.
http://haha.httpcn.com/Eng.html
http://www.englishjoke.net/xiaohua/life/
看看这个
a sausage is locked in the fridge
feel very cold, and then looked at the nearby of another root, had a little comfort, said: "see you were frozen into this, are covered in ice!" results the root said: "i'm sorry, i'm popsicles."
一个香肠被关在冰箱里
感觉很冷,然后看了看身边的另一根,有了点安慰,说：“看你都冻成这样了,全身都是冰！”结果那根说：“对不起，我是冰棒。”
A vampire bat comes back to his fellow vampires with a bloody mouth. They stare at him jealously and ask him where he got the blood.
In reply he asks them, "Did you see that tree back there?"
"Sure," they reply.
"Well, I didn't !"
"一只吸血蝙蝠带著满嘴的血回到它的吸血同伴身边。它们嫉妒的盯著它问血从那来的。
它不答反问，『你们看到那边那棵大树了吗?』
『当然，』它们一致的回答。
『我没看到!』
WOMAN came up in their conversation.
The Italian said, in Italy we treat the woman like a guitar. We press the top & tickle the bottom.
The Frenchman said, in France, we treat the woman like cognac. We smell first & then lick slowly. What about the woman in your country,
Mr Singh?
The Italian asked.
In our country, we treat the woman like a record. First we play the front &/when we finish, we flip it over & pl
笑话2.About Drivers
What's the first thing that come to your mind when you see a Chinese man driving a BMW 3 series?
* A pimp
What's the first thing that comes to your mind when you see a Malay man driving a BMW 3 series?
* Ahmad
What's the first thing that comes to your mind when you see an Indian man driving a BMW 3 series?
* A car jockey
What's the first thing that comes to your mind when you see a Bhai driving a BMW 3 series?
* A car repossesor.
笑话3.Bill Gates
Bill Gates dies in a car accident. He finds himself in purgatory, being sized up by God
"Well, Bill, I'm really confused on this call; I'm not sure whether to send you to Heaven or Hell. After all, you enormously helped society by putting a computer in almost every home in America, yet you also created that ghastly Windows '95. I'm going to do something
I've never done before; in your case, I'm going to let you decide where you want to go."
Bill replied, " Well, what's the difference between the two?"
God said, "I'm willing to let you visit both places briefly, if it will help your decision."
"Fine, but where should I go first?"
"I'll leave that up to you."
"Okay then," said Bill, "Let's try Hell first."
So Bill went to Hell.
It was a beautiful, clean, sandy beach with clear waters and lots of beautiful women running around, playing in the water, laughing and frolicking about. The sun was shining, the temperature perfect. He was very pleased.
"This is great!" he told God. "If this is hell, I REALLY want to see heaven!"
"Fine," said God, and off they went. Heaven was a place high in the clouds, with angels drifting about, playing harps and singing. It was nice, but not as enticing as Hell.
Bill thought for a quick minute, and rendered his decision.
"Hmmmm. I think I'd prefer Hell," he told God. "Fine," retorted God, "as you desire." So Bill Gates went to Hell. Two weeks later, God decided to check on the late billionaire to see how he was doing in Hell. When he got there, he found Bill, shackled to a wall, screaming amongst hot flames in dark caves, being burned and tortured by demons.
"How's everything going?" he asked Bill.
Bill responded, with his voice filled with anguish and disappointment,
"this is awful! This is nothing like the Hell I visited two weeks ago! I can't believe this is happening! What happened to that other place, with the beaches, the beautiful women playing in the water????! "That was the SCREENSAVER," replied God.
真抱歉,我已经尽力了.这些只好你自己删节了,的确有些词初一应该没学.真不好意思啊.
http://haha.httpcn.com/Eng.html
http://www.englishjoke.net/xiaohua/life/
看看这个
a sausage is locked in the fridge
feel very cold, and then looked at the nearby of another root, had a little comfort, said: "see you were frozen into this, are covered in ice!" results the root said: "i'm sorry, i'm popsicles."
一个香肠被关在冰箱里
感觉很冷,然后看了看身边的另一根,有了点安慰,说：“看你都冻成这样了,全身都是冰！”结果那根说：“对不起，我是冰棒。”
A vampire bat comes back to his fellow vampires with a bloody mouth. They stare at him jealously and ask him where he got the blood.
In reply he asks them, "Did you see that tree back there?"
"Sure," they reply.
"Well, I didn't !"
"一只吸血蝙蝠带著满嘴的血回到它的吸血同伴身边。它们嫉妒的盯著它问血从那来的。
它不答反问，『你们看到那边那棵大树了吗?』
『当然，』它们一致的回答。
『我没看到!』
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