三年级简单幽默小故事英语

Mrs Brown was going our for the day.She locked the house and tacked a note for the milkman on the door:"nobody home.don't leave anything"when got back that night,she found her door broken open and her house ransacked.On the note she had left,she found she following messege added:"thanks!we haven't left anything!"

布朗夫人今天出门前锁好门后在门上贴了一张便条给送奶人,上面写着:"家里没人,不要留下任何东西."当她晚上回来的时候发现家里失窃了,而在早上留下的便条上多了一条信息:"谢谢你,我们没有留下任何东西" ]\I Have His Ear in My Pocket

Ivan came home with a bloody nose and his mother asked, "What happened?"
"A kid bit me," replied Ivan.
"Would you recognize him if you saw him again?" asked his mother.
"I'd know him any where," said Ivan. "I have his ear in my pocket."

他的耳朵在我衣兜里

伊凡鼻子流着血回到家里。他妈妈问，“发生了什么事？”
“一个男孩咬了我一口，”伊凡说。
“再见到他你能认出来吗？”妈妈问。
“他走到哪里我都能认出他，”伊凡说。“他的耳朵还在我衣兜里呢。”


Drunk

One day, a father and his little son were going home. At this age, the boy was interested in all kinds of things and was always asking questions. Now, he asked, "What's the meaning of the word 'Drunk', dad?" "Well, my son," his father replied, "look, there are standing two policemen. If I regard the two policemen as four then I am drunk."
"But, dad," the boy said, " there's only ONE policeman!"

醉酒

一天，父亲与小儿子一道回家。这个孩子正处于那种对什么事都很感兴趣的年龄，老是有提不完的问题。他向父亲发问道：“爸爸，‘醉’字是什么意思？” “唔，孩子，”父亲回答说，“你瞧那儿站着两个警察。如果我把他们看成了四个，那么我就算醉了。” “可是，爸爸， ”孩子说，“那儿只有一个警察呀！”

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　　有那么一天小兔在山洞前写字,一只大灰狼走过来问:“兔子你在写什么? ”
兔子答：“我在写论文。”
狼又问:“什么题目呢?”
兔子答曰:“我在写兔子是怎样把狼吃掉的。”
狼听后哈哈大笑,表示不相信。
兔子说：“你跟我来。”然后把它带进了山洞之后,兔子又继续在山洞前写着。这时又来了一只狐狸问:“兔子，你在写些什么?”
兔子答曰:“我在写论文。”
狐狸问：“什么题目?”
兔子答曰：“兔子是如何把一只狐狸吃掉的。”
狐狸听完后哈哈大笑的，表示不信。
兔子说:“你跟我来。”之后把它带进了山洞,过了一会儿兔子又独自一个人走出了山洞,继续写它的论文。
此时在山洞的里面一只狮子正坐在一堆白骨上剔着牙,还一边看着兔子的论文:一个动物的能力大小,不是看它的力量有多大,而是看它的幕后老板是谁！

这只兔子有次不小心告诉了他的一个兔子朋友，这消息逐渐在森林中传播；
狮子知道后非常生气,他告诉兔子:"如果这个星期没有食物进洞,我就吃你。"
于是兔子继续在洞口写文章.
一只小鹿走过来，"兔子,你在干什么啊?"
"写文章" "什么题目" "《浅谈兔子是怎样吃掉狼的》"
"哈哈,这个事情全森林都知道啊,你别胡弄我了,我是不会进洞的"
"我马上要退休了,狮子说要找个人顶替我,难道你不想这篇文章的兔子变成小鹿么"
小鹿想了想,终于忍不住诱惑,跟随兔子走进洞里。
过了一会,兔子独自走出山洞,继续写文章
一只小马走过来,同样是事情发生了。
最后,在山洞里,一只狮子在一堆白骨之间,满意的剔着牙读着兔子交给它的文章
题目是:《如何发展下线动物为老板提供食物》。

随着时间的推移，狮子越长越大,兔子的食物已远远不能填饱肚子。
一日,他告诉兔子："我的食物量要加倍,例如:原来4天一只小鹿,现在要2天一只
如果一周之内改变不了局面我就吃你。
于是,兔子离开洞口,跑进森林深处，他见到一只狼
"你相信兔子能轻松吃掉狼吗"
狼哈哈大笑,表示不信，于是兔子把狼领进山洞。
过了一会,兔子独自走出山洞,继续进入森林深处
这回他碰到一只野猪----"你相信兔子能轻松吃掉野猪吗"
野猪不信,于是同样的事情发生了。
原来森林深处的动物并不知道兔子和狮子的故事
最后，在山洞里,一只狮子在一堆白骨之间,满意的剔着牙读着兔子交给它的文章
题目是:《如何实现由坐商到行商的转型为老板提供更多的食物》

时间飞快,转眼之间,兔子在森林里的名气越来越大
因为大家都知道它有一个很历害的老板
这只小兔开始横行霸道,欺上欺下,没有动物敢惹
它时时想起和乌龟赛跑的羞辱
它找到乌龟说:"三天之内，见我老板!"扬长而去
乌龟难过的哭了
这时却碰到了一位猎人
乌龟把这事告诉了他
猎人哈哈大笑
于是森林里发生了一件重大事情
猎人披着狮子皮和乌龟一起在吃兔子火锅
地下丢了半张纸片歪歪扭扭的写着:山外青山楼外楼,强中还有强中手啊!!

在很长一段时间里森林里恢复了往日的宁静，兔子吃狼的故事似乎快要被大家忘记了
不过一只年轻的老虎在听说了这个故事后,被激发了灵感
于是他抓住了一只羚羊,对羚羊说,如果你可以象以前的兔子那样为我带来食物那我就不吃你。
于是,羚羊无奈的答应了老虎,而老虎也悠然自得的进了山洞。
可是三天过去了,也没有见羚羊领一只动物进洞。他实在憋不住了,想出来看看情况。
羚羊早已不在了，他异常愤怒。正在他暴跳如雷的时候突然发现了羚羊写的一篇文章

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Musician
Jim Smith is a musician. He plays the guitar. He and three of his friends have a rock music band. They play for dancers at high school and college and sometime for television program. They work hard and someday they expect to be rock music stars. They want to be reach and famous.

Television cameraman
Dan Tod is a television cameraman. He works at a television station in his hometown. He often has to work at night. He has to work with the director of the television program. Dan knows how to use his cameraman effectively. "He gets better everyday" he says.
音乐
吉姆?史密斯是一个音乐家。他扮演的吉他。他和他的三个朋友有一个摇滚音乐乐队。他们发挥的舞者在高中和大学，并为电视节目中的某个时候。他们努力工作，总有一天，他们预计将摇滚音乐明星。他们希望达成和著名。
电视摄像师
丹托德是一个电视台的摄影师。他的作品在电视台在他的家乡。他常常在夜间工作。他与主任的电视节目。丹知道如何有效地使用他的摄影师。 “他得到更好的日常生活” ，他说。

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　　  Billy: Mother, Bobby broke a window.

Mother: How did he do it?

Billy: I threw a rock at him and he ducked.

他的错 
 
 比利：妈妈，波比打坏了窗玻璃。
 
妈妈：他怎么打的？
 
比利：我向他扔石头，他躲开了。

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　　 Danny is a little pig . He is unhappy because he wants to leave home to see the world .

It’s a sunny day . Danny goes away when his parents are sleeping . on his way he meets an elephant , a peacock and a rabbit . At last , he gets to a lake . He looks at his reflection in the water and says, “I wish I have an elephant’s nose , a peacock’s tail and a rabbit’s ears .” after a while , Danny’s wish comes true . He runs back excitedly .

But his parents can’t recognize Danny , “Go away , you’re not our son .” Danny goes to the lake again . “ I just want to be a pig .” He says sadly .Danny waits and waits . He becomes a pig again .

Danny runs back quickly . His parents hug and say , “ This is our lovely baby

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急需几篇英语小短文、小故事、小笑话、三年级上册能看懂的、短一点、简单一点 不要太难 太长 只要几句话就行 速度````