编造一个幽默故事的英文
- 作者: 段爷002
- 来源: 数月亮
- 2020-11-22
The mean man's party
The notorious cheap skate finally decided to have a party. Explaining to a friend how to find his apartment, he said, "Come up to 5M and ring the doorbell with your elbow. When the door open, push with your foot."
"Why use my elbow and foot?"
"Well, gosh," was the reply, "You're not coming empty-hangded, are you?
Long Life
A man was selling medicines at a fair. At first he sold bottles of a cure for colds for just a dollar a bottle.
Many people wanted to buy it and the man's young assistant moved quickly through the crowd collecting money and handing out bottles of the cold cure.
Then, when he had a big crowd, the man held up a very small bottle.
"And now, ladies and gentlemen, " he shouted. "here is the medicine you have been waiting for. The cure for old age. Drink just one bottle of this and you will live forever."
"And, ladies and gentlemen," the man continued, "I'm not going to charge you a hundred dollars a bottle for this wonderful medicine. I'm not going to charge you fifty dollars a bottle. I'm not going to charge you twenty five dollars a bottle. No, ladies and gentlemen, I'm going to charge you just ten dollars a bottle. Think, my friends, for ten dollars you can live forever."
Most of the people in the crowd did not believe this.
One person shouted, "if it will make you live forever, why don't you drink it?"
Then another person cried , "Yes, you look as if you're at least sixty years old. "
"Thank you, sir, thank you," the man replied, "I'm so glad you said that. My real age is three hundred and twenty nine. "
The crowd laughed at this but there were still a few people who wanted to believe the man. One of them spoke to the man's assistant as she passed by. "Is that true," he asked, "that he's three hundred and twenty-nine?"
“Don't ask me," the assistant said, "I've only worked for him for a hundred and fifty years."
长生不老
一人在集市卖药。起先他卖一美元一瓶的治感冒的药。
很多人想买药，那人的年轻助手迅速穿行于人群中，一边收钱，一边递药。
然后当围观的人多起来时，那人举起一个小瓶子。
“听着，女士们，先生们，”那人喊道，“这就是你们一直想要的药。
消除衰老的药。只吃一瓶，就会长生不老。”
“女士们，先生们，”那人接着说道，“对这种神奇的药，我不打算卖一瓶100美元。我不打算卖一瓶50美元，我也不打算卖一瓶25美元。我只打算卖一瓶10美元。想想吧，朋友们，只花10美元，你们就能长生不老。”
人群中大多数人不相信他的话。
一人喊道：“如果这药能使人长生不老，你为什么不吃？”
接着另一人叫道：“是哇，你看上去至少60岁。”
“谢谢，先生，谢谢，”那人回答，“我很高兴你这么说。我的实际年龄是329岁。”
听到他的话，人群中发出一阵笑声，但仍有几个人愿意相信他的话。其中一人当那个助手经过时问她，“他已329岁了，这是真的吗？”他问。
“别问我，”助手说，“我只为他工作了150年。”
一个英语不怎么样的人初来美国~
一天，他目睹了一起交通事故。
后来，警察来了就跟他了解经过！
他不知该什么说！就冒出这句英语：
“one car come one car go,two car bang bang one car die!”
〈一个车过来一个过去，两个车“蹦蹦！”一个车就死了）
KLZL手打
Friend 一路与你同行的是你的朋友
Standing by,
All the way.
Here to help you through your day.
Holding you up,
When you are weak,
Helping you find what it is you seek.
Catching your tears,
When you cry.
Pulling you through when the tide is high.
Absorbing your voice,
When you talk.
Standing by when you learn to walk.
Just being there,
Through thick and thin,
All just to say, you are my friend.
—Brittani Kokko
[b]Friend [center][color=orange]一路与你同行的是你的朋友[/color][/center][/b]
一路
与你同行
帮你度过每一天
当你柔弱时
给你支持
帮你达到追寻的目标
当你流泪时
接住你的泪滴
助你度过危急的形势
当你说话时
倾听你的声音
在你学走路时，站在你身旁
我会不畏艰辛
总在那里
只因为，你是我的朋友
——布里坦尼-科克
1. 一位在美留学生，想要考国际驾照。在考试时因为过度紧张，看到地上标线是向左转，任然很不放心地问考官：turn left?考官回答：right。于是他立即向右转。很抱歉他只有下次再来。
2.某人刻苦学习英语，终有小成。一日上街不慎与一老外相撞，忙说:I am sorry.
老外应道：I am sorry too.
某人听后又道： I am sorry three.
老外不解，问： Waht are you sorry for?
某人无奈，道；I am sorry five.
The notorious cheap skate finally decided to have a party. Explaining to a friend how to find his apartment, he said, "Come up to 5M and ring the doorbell with your elbow. When the door open, push with your foot."
"Why use my elbow and foot?"
"Well, gosh," was the reply, "You're not coming empty-hangded, are you?
Long Life
A man was selling medicines at a fair. At first he sold bottles of a cure for colds for just a dollar a bottle.
Many people wanted to buy it and the man's young assistant moved quickly through the crowd collecting money and handing out bottles of the cold cure.
Then, when he had a big crowd, the man held up a very small bottle.
"And now, ladies and gentlemen, " he shouted. "here is the medicine you have been waiting for. The cure for old age. Drink just one bottle of this and you will live forever."
"And, ladies and gentlemen," the man continued, "I'm not going to charge you a hundred dollars a bottle for this wonderful medicine. I'm not going to charge you fifty dollars a bottle. I'm not going to charge you twenty five dollars a bottle. No, ladies and gentlemen, I'm going to charge you just ten dollars a bottle. Think, my friends, for ten dollars you can live forever."
Most of the people in the crowd did not believe this.
One person shouted, "if it will make you live forever, why don't you drink it?"
Then another person cried , "Yes, you look as if you're at least sixty years old. "
"Thank you, sir, thank you," the man replied, "I'm so glad you said that. My real age is three hundred and twenty nine. "
The crowd laughed at this but there were still a few people who wanted to believe the man. One of them spoke to the man's assistant as she passed by. "Is that true," he asked, "that he's three hundred and twenty-nine?"
“Don't ask me," the assistant said, "I've only worked for him for a hundred and fifty years."
长生不老
一人在集市卖药。起先他卖一美元一瓶的治感冒的药。
很多人想买药，那人的年轻助手迅速穿行于人群中，一边收钱，一边递药。
然后当围观的人多起来时，那人举起一个小瓶子。
“听着，女士们，先生们，”那人喊道，“这就是你们一直想要的药。
消除衰老的药。只吃一瓶，就会长生不老。”
“女士们，先生们，”那人接着说道，“对这种神奇的药，我不打算卖一瓶100美元。我不打算卖一瓶50美元，我也不打算卖一瓶25美元。我只打算卖一瓶10美元。想想吧，朋友们，只花10美元，你们就能长生不老。”
人群中大多数人不相信他的话。
一人喊道：“如果这药能使人长生不老，你为什么不吃？”
接着另一人叫道：“是哇，你看上去至少60岁。”
“谢谢，先生，谢谢，”那人回答，“我很高兴你这么说。我的实际年龄是329岁。”
听到他的话，人群中发出一阵笑声，但仍有几个人愿意相信他的话。其中一人当那个助手经过时问她，“他已329岁了，这是真的吗？”他问。
“别问我，”助手说，“我只为他工作了150年。”
一个英语不怎么样的人初来美国~
一天，他目睹了一起交通事故。
后来，警察来了就跟他了解经过！
他不知该什么说！就冒出这句英语：
“one car come one car go,two car bang bang one car die!”
〈一个车过来一个过去，两个车“蹦蹦！”一个车就死了）
KLZL手打
Friend 一路与你同行的是你的朋友
Standing by,
All the way.
Here to help you through your day.
Holding you up,
When you are weak,
Helping you find what it is you seek.
Catching your tears,
When you cry.
Pulling you through when the tide is high.
Absorbing your voice,
When you talk.
Standing by when you learn to walk.
Just being there,
Through thick and thin,
All just to say, you are my friend.
—Brittani Kokko
[b]Friend [center][color=orange]一路与你同行的是你的朋友[/color][/center][/b]
一路
与你同行
帮你度过每一天
当你柔弱时
给你支持
帮你达到追寻的目标
当你流泪时
接住你的泪滴
助你度过危急的形势
当你说话时
倾听你的声音
在你学走路时，站在你身旁
我会不畏艰辛
总在那里
只因为，你是我的朋友
——布里坦尼-科克
1. 一位在美留学生，想要考国际驾照。在考试时因为过度紧张，看到地上标线是向左转，任然很不放心地问考官：turn left?考官回答：right。于是他立即向右转。很抱歉他只有下次再来。
2.某人刻苦学习英语，终有小成。一日上街不慎与一老外相撞，忙说:I am sorry.
老外应道：I am sorry too.
某人听后又道： I am sorry three.
老外不解，问： Waht are you sorry for?
某人无奈，道；I am sorry five.
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